No Time to die

Are you going out again tonight, Jimmy?What do you mean, again?Third time this week.Are you keeping count now?I am, yeah. Sure weren't the pubs closed for long enough, I'm just catching up, Bernie.You're well caught up by now, sure you're never out of the place.The pub industry is hanging on by a thread, hon. Don't … Continue reading No Time to die

Blue Origin

Maisie is a big Star Trek fan so she was all excited to see her hero Captain Kirk head into space yesterday... There he is, Bernie. Isn't he gorgeous? Lovely ma. D'ye know he's older than me. Can you imagine me flying into space at this age? I can't imagine you walking to Spar, ma; … Continue reading Blue Origin

Kin

So, did you watch it?What?That new programme on the telly last night. 'KIN', I told you it was starting.Oh right, I did yeah.What did you think?A bit like 'Love/Hate' for south siders, well according to Jimmy anyway.It's no wonder young ones are lured into drugs. But the young ones don't get to live in the … Continue reading Kin

Child of Prague

A few years ago, pre covid ( those were the days) me ma rang me one morning... Bernie, can you ask one of your lads to drop over. I need them to get into the attic for me.What do you want from the attic ma?My child of Prague.For what?Mrs. Byrnes grand daughter is getting married … Continue reading Child of Prague

Knitting

What are you up to today, Bernie?I'm going home to do my knitting, ma.You? knitting? Don't make me laugh.What's so funny?You don't knit.Yes I do.Since when?Since I took it up last month.And you've kept it up for a month?Yeah, why would you think I wouldn't?Because I remember the last time you took up a pair … Continue reading Knitting

The whole tooth

Marilyn rang me ma then ma rang me ... Bernie, is that you?Yeah.Are you sure?Who did you ring ma?Bernie.Well then?I thought you were Phil. Well I'm not Phil.You girls all sound the same to me. But you rang me.You can never be too sure.Right, whatever. Anyway, what's up ma?Did you hear about, Eliza?Marilyn's daughter? What … Continue reading The whole tooth

Instagram Angles

I can't be doing with the hundreds of mammy/wannabe fashionistas on Instagram, spouting shite every five minutes 'My little angles, I love the bones of them. I do what I do for me kids, they're me world'. Well fuck off then, Chantelle and look after your bleedin' kids and stop pawning them off on your … Continue reading Instagram Angles

Nine Weeks

Last weeks government announcement didn't go down too well in our house. Nine more weeksNine fucking weeks.It's not funny anymore, Jimmy.It was never funny, Bernie.But it's less funny than it was the first time.Closing the pubs wasn't funny.But we thought it was only for a couple of months.If only we knew.At least we had good … Continue reading Nine Weeks