Daydreamer

My sister Phillo is heartbroken today. David Cassidy was her teenage idol. She had posters of him all over the bedroom wall and on the ceiling.  Da used to go mad at her for ripping the paint off  with the sellotape…

 

David Cassidy 2

  • David Cassidy but Bernie, can you believe it?
  • Too sad Phillo…too sad
  • When I hear him singing, it’s like I’m fourteen again
  • I remember you and your mates going mad for him on The Partridge Family
  • Keith, he was gorgeous
  • Keith?
  • Keith Partridge, that was his name in the show
  • Ah I’m a bit too young to remember that Phillo
  • Feck off, you’re not that much younger than me
  • I do remember him on Top of The Pops alright
  • My teenage crush
  • Da said he looked like a girl
  • The cheek of him
  • Just because he had long hair
  • …and wore a pink shirt
  • Sure aren’t all the young fellas wearing pink shirts these days
  • Da had one himself sure
  • Oh god yeah, someone bought it for him for Christmas
  • I think it was auntie Marilyn
  • Trust her, but at least it didn’t have flowers on it
  • He was dead himself before the following year
  • Probably thinking he’d rather die than wear that yoke again
  • I think he actually did say that to ma
  • Jaysis, you just don’t know do you?
  • He was no David Cassidy but was he? Lord have mercy on him
  • More David Letterman really Phillo
  • Still, David Cassidy Bernie. He was so young
  • Same age as da
  • ..and we thought he was an aulfella
  • Remember when he forgot the words of the song and we all that he was drunk
  • Was that at aunty Betty’s birthday party?
  • Not Da, ye big eejit…David Cassidy
  • Oh right yea, he fell off the stage didn’t he?, God love him.
  • Turned out he had dementia and was on medication
  • People are so quick to judge without knowing the facts aren’t they but?
  • Eh hello, you were one who said “Look at David Cassidy out of his box on stage”
  • Well you expect it with famous people don’t you? Being drunk onstage like. You don’t think of them being sick. He was really sick.
  • Rest in peace David
  • Sleep tight David… I think I love you   ❤ 
Advertisements

Russian Roulette

_98754453_ireland-pa

 

Jimmy is very down in the dumps since Ireland were beaten by Denmark on Tuesday night. His world cup dream trip to Russia is not to be and he’s not at all pleased…

  • Cancel that Credit Union loan will you Bernie
  • Why?
  • Well, Russia is off now isn’t it
  • Shocking result Jimmy
  • Not really, even me granny lighting a candle wasn’t going to win that match for us
  • Sad all the same but sure we’ll take the loan anyway
  • But what’s the point Bernie?
  • I’d like to go somewhere next year
  • Like where?
  • Anywhere Jimmy; Spain, Portugal, Greece, the Bahamas. A couple of weeks in the sun would be lovely
  • Ah Bernie, you know I hate that two weeks in the sun shite
  • Eh hello…you didn’t say that when you fecked off to France for the Euros last year
  • That was different
  • It’s always different with you isn’t it? And how long were you planning on staying in Russia?
  • That wasn’t a holiday
  • Well what the fuck was it if it wasn’t a holiday?
  • It’s more of a pilgrimage Bernie
  • Lourdes is a pilgrimage; Medjugorge  is a pilgrimage…Russia for the world cup is not a bleedin’ pilgrimage. It’s a piss up every night with your mates while you trail around the country after a football team
  • It’s called supporting your country Bernie
  • It’s called taking liberties Jimmy, and what about supporting your wife?
  • I do support my wife. When did I ever leave you short?
  • I’m not talking about money Jimmy as well you know
  • Well we didn’t get through, Russia is off so there’s no point going on about it
  • All I said was, lets go on a holiday together seeing as you won’t be going to Russia
  • I’ll think about it
  • You’ll think about it? Is that what you said to your mates when they were planning the world cup trip? ‘I’ll think about it?’
  • What was there to think about Bernie?
  • Yeah too right, you were on to Trip Adviser checking flights to Moscow and Vladivostok before Ireland even qualified
  •  Vladivostok?
  • Yeah, that’s in Russia … isn’t it?
  • Yeah but none of the football venues are there
  • Look Jimmy I’m not an expert on Russian geography or football venues, but I do know where there’s a lovely hotel on the beach in Lanzarote , now are we going to go or not?
  • Do I have a choice?
  • I’m not holding a gun to your head Jimmy
  • Oh go on so…anywhere but Russia …or Denmark
  •  I’ll just go check Trip Adviser
  • You don’t waste any time do you?
  • Wasting time is robbing oneself
  • What?
  • Old Russian proverb Jimmy
  • I have an Irish one for you
  • What?
  • As much as I may drink tonight I will still be thirsty tomorrow
  • You’re off to the pub then?
  • Got it in one Bernie
  • I might join you later for a black russian

Every cloud does have a silver ling but doesn’t it?  😉

 

 

Loose woman

housework

 

  • Are you sitting there all morning ?
  • I just sat down to have a coffee is that alright?
  • You were sitting there when I left this morning
  • Because I was only after making your breakfast and hanging out the washing and I fancied a cup of tea and a slice of toast for me own breakfast while I watched Lorraine
  • You’ve a great life all the same, cups of tea and coffee and breaks whenever you like
  • I’m only after sitting down I told you
  • I believe ye, thousands wouldn’t
  • Believe what you like Jimmy, now excuse me, til I catch the end of Loose Women
  • I wish I had time to watch Loose Women but I’ve only half an hour to get a bit of lunch
  • You can’t stand Loose Women?
  • I know but it beats working your arse off on a bulding site
  • You’re not the only one who works you know. I’m on the go all morning
  • But you’re at home all day. You’re your own boss Bernie
  • Yeah, it’s great having no one looking over your shoulder alright
  • You’re very touchy today
  • Am I? I wonder why? Oh by the way, we had visitors earlier
  • Who?
  • Kim and Aggie called at nine this morning, they hoovered the hall stairs and landing while they were here
  • Did they? That’s nice
  • Yeah, then they cleaned out the  bathroom and the ensuite, mopped the floors, cleaned the windows, changed the duvets, emptied and refilled the dishwasher, then put on three loads of washing. I told them not to get in Alans way while they were hanging it out on the line
  • Alan who?
  • Titchmarsh…he was out doing a bit of weeding before planting the spring bulbs.
  • Is that right?
  • Yeah.Two hours he was out there. Jamie came in just as he was leaving
  • Jamie who?
  • Jamie Oliver. He made a lovely sheperds pie for your dinner…from scratch.
  • Very nice, and did he make any dessert?
  • He was going to make an apple crumble and custard but I told him not to bother
  • Why?
  • BECAUSE HE WAS BLEEDIN’ KNACKERED AND WANTED TO SIT DOWN FOR TWENTY MINUTES WITH A COFFEE AND WATCH LOOSE WOMEN
  • Calm down Bernie. Sure can’t we open a tin of fruit and have it with some ice cream instead.
  • Get out of me way Jimmy before I lose me mind. I’m missing me programme, and you’re getting on me last nerve.
  • Any chance of a ham sandwich and a cuppa?
  • You know where the kettle is, and there’s ham in the fridge
  • Are you not going to make it for me?
  • I just sat down Jimmy
  • You just can’t get the staff these days …

I’ll swing for him one of these days, I swear 🙄