Month: February 2017

Pancake Panic

~ Diary of a Dublin housewife ~ 3 Comments

pancakes

  • Where’s the pancakes ma?
  • I didn’t make any
  • Why not?
  • I’m on a diet
  • Well I’m not
  • Well you make them then
  • I can’t
  • You’re out of luck so
  • Ah ma
  • Ah ma me arse, you should be trying to support me on me diet Kylie, not looking for bleedin’ pancakes of a Tuesday
  • But it’s ‘PANCAKE’ Tuesday ma
  • I don’t care if it’s Apocalypse Tuesday. I’m not making any bloody pancakes
  • What does da have to say about that?
  • Nothing. He’s supporting me with my diet
  • He’s gone to grannies for pancakes isn’t he?
  • Yeah
  • See ye later ma
  • Where are you going? What about your dinner?
  • I’ll be back later…keep it warm for me
  • It’s a bleedin’ salad
  • Whatever, see ye in a bit Ma
  •  Kylie Bernadette Rosaleen Violet, come back here NOW
  • I won’t be long
  • I know where you’re going
  • ……….
  • TELL YOUR DA HIS DINNER IS READY…AND BRING ME BACK A PANCAKE

Well, if you can’t beat them, join them. Anyway lent starts tomorrow. I’ll start me diet tomorrow  🙂

Ferero heart never won fair lady ❤️

~ Diary of a Dublin housewife ~ 4 Comments

 

  • Did you buy me chocolates Jimmy?
  • Why would I buy you chocolates?
  • For Valentines day
  • You hate all that Valentines shite
  •  I don’t hate chocolate tho’
  • There’s still half a box of Ferero left since Christmas
  • What do you mean half a box? I never even opened them
  • I had one or two the other night when you were out
  • Did ye now? Well how come there’s only a half box left?
  • Well, maybe I ate more than one or two
  • You’re an awful gannet Jimmy Violet
  • I thought you didn’t want them. They’re there since Christmas
  •  I’m on the slimming world diet, I couldn’t eat them
  • I did you a favour so
  • I was saving them for a special occasion
  • Like what?
  • Like when I lost me first stone
  • That’s kinda defeating the purpose Ber isn’t it?
  • Whatever Jimmy, ah will ye look at the time, I’m dead  late for me weigh in. DON’T eat the rest of MY Ferero before I get back
  • It’ll be my Valentines gift to you
  • Oooh Mr. Ambassador  with zees half box of Rocher you are truly spoiling meeeee
  • I really am Ber. I mean I could’ve eaten them all
  • I’ve heard it all now, giving me a half box of my own chocolates for Valentines day
  • That’s how much I love you Ber. Any more than that and you’d never reach your target. 
  • You’re all heart Jimmy  ❤
  • I do try Bernie
  • Who says romance is dead?

 

ferero

 

Knobs, knockers and chicken balls

~ Diary of a Dublin housewife ~ 6 Comments

door-knob-1

 

  • I’m off to work Jimmy
  • Where are you working today?
  • Lady Mucks house in Rathgar. She’s been on a Caribbean cruise for a month, wants the gaff cleaned before she gets home on Wednesday
  • How the other half live what?’
  • I wish someone would clean my gaff while I went off on me jollies
  • Ah you wouldn’t like it Bernie. Strangers in your house
  • It doesn’t have to be a stranger Jimmy.  I’m sure you know where the Hoover is by now
  • Ah leave it out Ber, sure I’m only in from work meself. I’m bleedin’ cream crackered
  • Well, get Whitney to do it when she gets in. She hasn’t done a tap around here all weekend
  • Where is she now?
  • She swanned off to Jens  after school instead of coming home to give me a hand.
  • Ah she’s probably studying is she?
  • Studying my arse. She spends more time up lying on her bed texting her mates than anything
  • I’ll have a word when she comes in
  • Thanks hon. Right I’m off to polish this aul ones knockers
  • Lovely image Ber
  • She likes her knockers gleaming
  • Don’t we all?
  • Dirty beggar Jimmy Violet
  • … and don’t forget to give them knobs a good polishing while you’re at it
  • Oh that reminds me, I’m getting a Chinese on the way home, do you want chicken balls with yours?
  • Nice one, and a spring roll Ber
  • We’ll be having that for afters Jimmy  😉
  • Now who’s a dirty beggar?
  • See you later…knob head  😉

 

Happy Monday everyone  🙂