
- Hello
- Good morning madame. This is visa international fraud office, Karen speaking. May I speak to you about your visa account.
- What about it?
- There has been some suspicious activity on your account this morning and I need to confirm some details with you to protect your account
- Suspicious in what way?
- A large transaction has been transferred to another account
- How large?
- Several thousand euro madame
- Wow. and where was this?
- Sumatra
- And where the fuck is Sumatra when it’s at home?
- It is in Indonesia madame
- I’ve never been, is it nice there?
- I’m sorry madame I am just here to help you with your Visa transactions
- I wonder if it’s near Nigeria. I sent a few million to a Nigerian prince there last week
- Excuse me?
- Ay yeah, he’s just down on his luck at the moment. Said he’d pay me back when his aul lads will comes through.
- I am ringing to discuss suspected fraudulent transactions on your Visa account, that is all
- So you’ve never been to Sumatra or Nigeria? Where are you from?
- I cannot discuss this madame but if you can bear with me…
- Who are you again?
- My name is Karen and as I said I am from Visa international fraud office
- You don’t sound like a Karen to me and I don’t have a Visa card love
- We also deal with MasterCard. You have MasterCard madame?
- You tell me Karen. You seem to know more about me than I do
- Madame please…
- Don’t even think about asking for my card number
- Did I ask you for that madame… DID I ASK YOU FOR A NUMBER?
- Don’t start getting ratty with me miss
- I am only trying to help you madame
- You most certainly can help me Karen
- Certainly madame. This is why I am here.
- You can help me by getting the fuck off my phone and never ringing me again MADAME
- …and fuck you too madame
- Lovely customer service Karen. You do realise you forgot to press the mute button there. Does Visa international know you talk to customers like that?
- Oh fuc…
- …You have a nice day now Kareeeen. Give my love to Prince Obafemi if you happen to bump into him Byeeeeeeeeee
I had a laugh over the phone with David from the actual Visa department about this, and I must say his customer service was impeccable, and no I didn’t any money to Prince Whatsisname. Do I look stupid? …Actually don’t answer that 😉
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