X Factor

I’m tellin’ ye now if Simon gives Ronan Keating a job as judge on X Factor I’ll never forgive him!

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

X

  • That Simon Cowell is an awful gobshite Bernie
  • I like him
  • How can you like him?
  • He’s gorgeous
  • D’ye think?
  • Ye, his eyes crinkle up when he smiles
  • I’d say his arse does too Bernie
  • No need for that Jimmy
  • Does he never get sick wearing the same tee shirt but?
  • It’s not the same tee shirt. He has loads of them
  • How do you know?
  • I just know
  • Them trousers though Ber, if they were up any higher they’d be around his bleedin’ neck
  • He obviously likes them like that. Just because you wear yours hanging off your arse doesn’t mean he has to
  • I do not
  • You give builders bum a bad name when you bend over
  • You’re very critical Bernie. I’m sorry I’m not as fit as your Simon
  • He’s not my Simon. I just like him that’s all
  • He’s very harsh on some of them poor…

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Nicknames

I can’t believe Rick will be 28 this year. Some of his mates still call him Viler. This was number one in the charts when he was born 🙂

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

N

There was a knock on the door one day. I opened it to some young fella looking for my son…

  • Is Viler coming out
  • Who
  • Viler
  • There’s no one here by that name
  • He told me he lived here
  • Who are you?
  • Dotsie
  • Dotsie? What kind of a name is that
  • I’m Daniel Doherty, me friends call me Dotsie
  • Why?
  • It’s a nickname, like Viler
  • Who’s Viler?
  • Richard Violet. Does he not live here then?
  • Richard lives here; Viler doesn’t
  • Everyone calls him Viler, it’s short for Violet
  • Well I prefer Richard, I don’t like nicknames
  • No one calls him Richard, he’ll be scarlet
  • He can be scarlet all he likes. You can call him Rick
  • Rick? That’s a bit gay isn’t it?
  • And Dotsie is so masculine?
  • No need to be sarcastic Mrs.
  • Sorry Daniel. I called him Rick after Rick Astley
  • Who?
  • You know the singer ‘Never…

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