I had to go in to hospital for a colonoscopy. Dreading it, I was. I had to drink litres of fluid to 'clean myself out' the day before. I checked in to the hospital at 7am on the morning of the procedure. I got undressed and into my gown and after I was … Continue reading Polyp Fiction
AtoZ blogging 2015
Oscar
If there was an Oscar for being a little bolix, Jimmy would definitely win...
Nicknames
There was a knock on the door one day. I opened it to some young fella looking for my son... Is Doyler coming out? Who Doyler There’s no one here by that name He told me he lived here Who are you? Dotsie Dotsie? What kind of a name is that I’m Daniel Doherty, me … Continue reading Nicknames
Ma
I'm changing me name I swear to God. It was bad enough when they were kids. It was non stop all day Ma I'm hungry Ma I'm thirsty Ma can I have a drink Ma he hit me Ma, ma, ma Jasus me head was forever melted listening to them. I thought I'd have a … Continue reading Ma
Living next door to Alice #AtoZChallenge
So in order for me to catch up with the AtoZ challenge, I'm going to cheat a bit and recycle a couple of my old AtoZ blogs. Alice still lives next door with her dog, Sunny who still shites in our garden ( Sunny, not Alice). Poor Larry Gogan lord rest him has died since. … Continue reading Living next door to Alice #AtoZChallenge
It’s all about me
Ok , I put my hands up. Today I'm cheating a bit...well a lot actually. I've been up to me eyeballs all day and haven't had a minute to scratch me arse never mind write a post. So for my letter I, I'm re blogging my Bio, which is all about me...Bernie Rose Violet. If … Continue reading It’s all about me
Heifer
I bought a new dress down the market for my birthday. I liked it at the time but wasn't sure about it when I got it home. I made the mistake of asking Jimmy's opinion... Does my bum look big in this Jimmy? I’m not answering that Bernie Why not? It’s an incriminating question How … Continue reading Heifer
Granny
My granny is ninety five, a great woman for her age. God love her, she had a fall and broke her hip. She can't look after herself anymore so she's gone into a nursing home. She hates it. We went in to see her the weekend. I want to go home This is your home … Continue reading Granny
Dry
The pubs and off licences are all closed on Good Friday. Jimmy is not a bit pleased. You'd swear they were never going to open again. He's been pacing the house like a caged tiger all day. Sit down Jimmy will ye. You’re making me dizzy I’ve a pain in me arse … Continue reading Dry
Annoying Anto
Jimmy’s brother Anto can be a pain in the arse. I think he only calls over to my house to annoy me. His missus doesn’t let him watch telly or eat junk food. They don't even own a telly. Imagine not owning a telly in this day and age. Geraldine is a very new age … Continue reading Annoying Anto
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 