I’m changing me name I swear to God. It was bad enough when they were kids. It was non stop all day

Ma I’m hungry

Ma I’m thirsty

Ma can I have a drink

Ma he hit me

Ma, ma, ma

Jasus me head was forever melted listening to them. I thought I’d have a quiet life when they grew up. I thought wrong. Kylie and Jason are the worst.

  • Ma
  • What?
  • Did you put the immersion on
  • Yeah
  • Ma
  • What?
  • Did you see my good shirt?
  • Which one?
  • The blue one
  • It’s hanging in your wardrobe
  • Not that one, me other blue one
  • Will that one not do ye?
  • No, I want me good one
  • Look in the ironing basket
  • Ma
  • What?
  • Will you iron it for me
  • No, I’m going out
  • Ah Ma please. I’m in a hurry
  • So am I. Ask Kylie to do it
  • She won’t, she’s a lazy bitch
  • And what does that make you?
  • It makes me knackered after working all day
  • She works aswell
  • Ye, she must be worn out painting aul ones nails all day
  • I don’t get paid enough for this shite
  • I give you fifty quid a week
  • You wouldn’t get a bed in a hostel for that
  • Karl’s ma doesn’t take any money from him
  • Well go live with Karl’s ma then
  • Ah, you’d miss me if I moved out
  • Prove it
  • Ah ma, you’re gas
  • Oh give me the bleedin’ shirt
  • Thanks ma. I’ll just go have a shower
  • Go
  • Ma
  • What?
  • Did you buy any shower gel?
  • It’s in the press under the sink
  • Ma
  • What?
  • Throw us up a towel will ye
  • Do you want me to wash your arse while I’m at it
  • Ah Ma, leave it out will ye

In walks Kylie…

  • Ma
  • What?
  • What’s for dinner?
  • Chicken
  • Again
  • What do you mean again?
  • We’re always having chicken
  • Count yourself lucky.
  • How is having chicken lucky?
  • Poor people in other countries would love chicken for their dinner.
  • Well send them mine then
  • Don’t be so cheeky madam.
  • Ma, you sound like granny
  • What do you mean?
  • Going on about poor people in other countries
  • Well it’s true. You lot don’t know you’re born
  • Haha, granny says that too
  • Well your granny is right
  • Ma
  • What?
  • Can I have something else for dinner?
  • You can have whatever you like love
  • Ah thanks Ma
  • The takeaway menus are in the drawer there
  • Ah Ma, I can’t afford takeaway. I don’t get paid ‘til Friday
  • You’re having chicken so
  • Ma?
  • What?
  • Give us a lend of a tenner will ye?
  • For what?
  • To order a curry
  • You only eat chicken curry
  • I know
  • You just said you were sick of chicken
  • Chinese is different
  • Yeah ’cause it’s probably not even chicken
  • Ma!

Give me patience!!!


7 thoughts on “Ma

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