Me and Jimmy were watching the Oscars and it got me thinking about who would star in the movie of my book ( yeah, I’m writing a book )  🙂

• Who would play you in a movie Jimmy?
• What’s the movie about?
• I dunno…Life
• ‘The life and times of Jimmy Violet’
• It could be ‘The life and times of Bernie Rose’.
• I thought it was about me
• I never said it was about you. I just asked who would play you in a movie
• Same thing
• No it’s not
• So it’s your movie then
• Maybe
• Right so
• But you’d be in it
• Like a supporting role
• Well, we are married
• Could we share the lead?
• I suppose so
• That’s nice
• So who would you pick?
• For what?
• To play you in the movie. For fuck Sake Jimmy,keep up will ye
• Can Daniel Craig do a Dublin accent?
• I dunno
• There’s nothing worse than a crap Dublin accent
• You’re right there Jimmy.
• What about Brad Pitt?
• No way. Did you hear his accent in ‘Snatch’?
• Oh yeah, it was shite alright
• What about Colin Farrell?
• He’s a little bollix
• He is gorgeous tho’
• D’ye think?
• Ye, but you’re right. He is a little bollix…anyway, he’s too young
• Fuck off Bernie. He’s not much younger than me
• In dog years yeah Jimmy
• I’m not having Pierce Brosnan
•  I’m sure he’ll be raging
• Did you hear him trying to sing in Mama Mia? He totally ruined his James Bond image. Made a show of himself he did
• When did you watch Mama Mia?
• Kylie made me watch it with her a few years ago when she was off school
• She made you?
• Well she was sick. I didn’t like to say no
• I believe you, thousands wouldn’t. What about Liam Neeson?
• He’s from the north Bernie. He’d never pull off the Dub accent
• He is a ride tho’
• Whatever you say Bernie
• I know the very man…Gabriel Byrne
• Where’s he from?
• Drimnagh
• He’d have the accent so
• And he’s fuckin’ gorgeous Jimmy
• Sure he’d have to be gorgeous if he’s playing me Bernie
• You love yourself Jimmy Violet
• What’s not to love Bernie.
• You’re so modest too
• That’s me sorted, so now, who’d play you Bernie?
• Charlize Theron
• What about the accent Bernie?
• Ah, she’ll be grand…Or Cameron Diaz
• Are they not a bit young?
• No
• I was thinking of someone a bit more mature
• Like who?
• Brenda Fricker
• You can fuck right off Jimmy Violet
• What’s wrong with you?
• You get Gabriel Byrne…and I get Brenda bleedin’ Fricker?
• She’s nice tho’…and she has the accent
• She’s old enough to be me ma
• Really? She doesn’t look it
• Well she is
• It hurts doesn’t it Bernie?
• What does?
• It’s alright for you to say Colin Farrell is too young to play me, but it’s not alright for me to say poor Brenda is young enough to play you
• Never mind Colin Farrell being a little bollix Jimmy…You’d win an Oscar for it
• I’ll  just go write my acceptance speech then 🙂

I told you…Men are bastards