Oscar

Me and Jimmy were watching the Oscars and it got me thinking about who would star in the movie of my book ( yeah, I’m writing a book )  🙂

O

  • Who would play you in a movie Jimmy?
  • What’s the movie about?
  • I dunno…Life
  • ‘The life and times of Jimmy Violet’
  • It could be ‘The life and times of Bernie Rose’.
  • I thought it was about me
  • I never said it was about you. I just asked who would play you in a movie
  • Same thing
  • No it’s not
  • So it’s your movie then
  • Maybe
  • Right so
  • But you’d be in it
  • Like a supporting role
  • Well, we are married
  • Could we share the lead?
  • I suppose so
  • That’s nice
  • So who would you pick?
  • For what?
  • To play you in the movie. For fuck Sake Jimmy,keep up will ye
  • Can Daniel Craig do a Dublin accent?
  • I dunno
  • There’s nothing worse than a crap Dublin accent
  • You’re right there Jimmy.
  • What about Brad Pitt?
  • No way. Did you hear his accent in ‘Snatch’?
  • Oh yeah, it was shite alright
  • What about Colin Farrell?
  • He’s a little bollix
  • He is gorgeous tho’
  • D’ye think?
  • Ye, but you’re right. He is a little bollix…anyway, he’s too young
  • Fuck off Bernie. He’s not much younger than me
  • In dog years yeah Jimmy
  • I’m not having Pierce Brosnan
  •  I’m sure he’ll be raging
  • Did you hear him trying to sing in Mama Mia? He totally ruined his James Bond image. Made a show of himself he did
  • When did you watch Mama Mia?
  • Kylie made me watch it with her a few years ago when she was off school
  • She made you?
  • Well she was sick. I didn’t like to say no
  • I believe you, thousands wouldn’t. What about Liam Neeson?
  • He’s from the north Bernie. He’d never pull off the Dub accent
  • He is a ride tho’
  • Whatever you say Bernie
  • I know the very man…Gabriel Byrne
  • Where’s he from?
  • Drimnagh
  • He’d have the accent so
  • And he’s fuckin’ gorgeous Jimmy
  • Sure he’d have to be gorgeous if he’s playing me Bernie
  • You love yourself Jimmy Violet
  • What’s not to love Bernie.
  • You’re so modest too
  • That’s me sorted, so now, who’d play you Bernie?
  • Charlize Theron
  • What about the accent Bernie?
  • Ah, she’ll be grand…Or Cameron Diaz
  • Are they not a bit young?
  • No
  • I was thinking of someone a bit more mature
  • Like who?
  • Brenda Fricker
  • You can fuck right off Jimmy Violet
  • What’s wrong with you?
  • You get Gabriel Byrne…and I get Brenda bleedin’ Fricker?
  • She’s nice tho’…and she has the accent
  • She’s old enough to be me ma
  • Really? She doesn’t look it
  • Well she is
  • It hurts doesn’t it Bernie?
  • What does?
  • It’s alright for you to say Colin Farrell is too young to play me, but it’s not alright for me to say poor Brenda is young enough to play you
  • Never mind Colin Farrell being a little bollix Jimmy…You’d win an Oscar for it
  • I’ll  just go write my acceptance speech then 🙂

I told you…Men are bastards

81st Academy Awards¨ Press Kit Images

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6 thoughts on “Oscar

  1. LMAO @Brenda Fricker… Great accent though!! Ahhh Jimmy cracks me up!! i am so glad I found you, although my husband thinks aim kinda looney laughing out loud in my bed at 8:12 am at my ipad!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know there IS something worse than a crap Dublin accent… A crap Australian accent. I have never heard a non-Australian get it right…ever… not ever… Actors always think we sound like Victorian era cockneys … especially American actors… total crud
    Wendy at Wendy of The Rock

    Liked by 1 person

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