Annoying Anto


Jimmy’s brother Anto can be a pain in the arse. I think he only calls over to my house to annoy me. His missus doesn’t let him watch telly or eat junk food. They don’t even own a telly. Imagine not owning a telly in this day and age. Geraldine is a very new age hippy type,into feng shui and auras and the like.She’s not a bit like his ex Breda. She didn’t give a shite what he did. Geraldine makes sure he does what he’s told at home.   He called over the other night…

  • Is Jimmy home?
  • No, he’s working late
  • What time will he be home?
  • I don’t know. I’ll tell him you called
  • I’ll wait for him
  • He could be hours
  • I don’t mind
  • Suit yourself
  • What are you watching?
  • Coronation Street
  • You still watch that shite?
  • I like it
  • Is Bet Lynch still in it?
  • How do you know Bet Lynch?
  • I remember her from watching it in me Mas
  • I thought you said it was shite
  • It is, but I had to watch it because me ma watched it. I’d no choice
  • Well same here Anto
  • What about Vera?
  • Vera who?
  • Jack’s wife who worked in the factory
  • Oh you mean Duckworth?
  • Yeah that’s her
  • She died
  • Really? How did Jack take it?
  • He died too
  • Aww, that’s terrible. I liked them
  • I thought you didn’t like it
  • Well I liked them, and Hilda Ogden
  • She left years ago
  • Yeah, me ma told me her husband died
  • He did yeah
  • Jasus, they’re dropping like flies in that programme
  • That’s soaps for ye Anto
  • Thank God for Deirdre Barlow what
  • She’s dead
  • Are you serious? Ken looks so happy there.
  • He doesn’t know yet
  • Why not?
  • Because this was filmed weeks ago. She was still alive then
  • I don’t get you
  • She died in real life Anthony, but she’s still alive in the programme
  • So where is she?
  • She’s away visiting her auntie
  • Blanche must be in bits
  • What?
  • Her ma, Blanche, they were very close
  • Blanche died two years ago Anto
  • Ah no way. Fuck off…not Blanche. She was gas
  • Not anymore, her dog is still alive though
  • It’s a dog’s life so
  • It is. I’ve missed half me programme now with you going on about dead people
  • The ads are on already?
  • Do you want to head off? I’ll tell Jimmy to call you
  • Ah no, I’m grand here. Sure I may as well wait for the second half
  • If you must
  • Are you making a cup of tea Bernie
  • I suppose so
  • Have you any biscuits?
  • I thought you weren’t allowed eat biscuits?
  • What Geraldine doesn’t know won’t hurt her
  • She must never get hurt so
  • What?
  • Nothing
  • Have you any custard creams?
  • No, just fig rolls
  • Aw, I fancied a custard cream but they’ll do I suppose
  • I’m sorry for you
  • Hurry up Bernie, the ads are over. You’re missing it


Fuck off Anto!

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