The pubs and off licences are all closed on Good Friday. Jimmy is not a bit pleased. You’d swear they were never going to open again. He’s been pacing the house like a caged tiger all day.

• Sit down Jimmy will ye. You’re making me dizzy
• I’ve a pain in me arse sitting down Bernie
• Well go out for a walk then
• A walk where?
• I don’t know. The park, the shops, your ma’s
• The park will be full of kids. The shops will be full of crazy shoppers stocking up  as if they were expecting a nuclear attack instead of a long weekend…and me ma will be at the church all day doing the stations of the cross
• Well go out and do the garden then
• Ah, it’s too damp out to cut the grass
• Do a bit of weeding then
• Ah me back is not the best today Bernie, I’ll only make it worse if I bend down
• Well do something Jimmy ‘cause you’re getting on my nerves
• Well if the bleedin’ pubs were open I could go for a pint
• I knew that’s what was wrong with you. It’s only one day Jimmy for fuck sake
• Yeah, the one day I’m off work and can actually go for a pint, I can’t
• You go for a pint every night Jimmy
• Not tonight tho’ Bernie. Even Jesus had a pint at the last supper.
• He did not Jimmy
• Well, he had wine then
• Not in a pub tho’
• It’s ridiculous that they keep the pubs closed of a good Friday in this day and age. My mouth is as dry as bleedin’ Ghandi’s flip- flop
• Have a can from the fridge if you’re that desperate
• It’s not the same Bernie. I’m not a house drinker. I like the ambience of the pub with me mates
• The ambience? The smell of beer and farts in that bar would knock you out sometimes
• It’s not that bad Bernie
• The gas emmisions would turn the air blue
• Don’t exaggerate
• Well, you probably do most of the farting Jimmy so you wouldn’t notice
• You’re very pass remarkable today. I suppose yours smell of roses
• Rose by name rose by nature Jimmy
• What does that make me then Bernie?
• Well they do say violets are blue
• You’re hilarious
• If the cap fits Jimmy
• Fuck off, I’m going to get a can

Roll on Saturday!