I’ve been a bit stressed lately. The kids are wrecking me buzz and Jimmy is being his usual pain in the arse. Antos wife Geraldine wants to ‘fix’ my aura.
- I didn’t know it was broken Ger
- Oh it is Bernie, it is
- How can you tell?
- Your aureole is very dark
- Me aureole? What the fuck is that when it’s at home
- It’s like a halo
- I’ve a halo? Like an angels halo?
- Yes, like an angel
- Well about time too
- But it’s very dark Bernie
- I’m in a dark mood Ger
- I can tell
- Can you tell why?
- Yes, you really need to align your chakras Bernie
- Chakras? Are for fuck sake, what are me chakras
- They are your energy centres. Yours are blocked Bernie
- So me aura is broken, me aureole is too dark and me chakras’ are blocked is that what your saying?
- It is Bernie.
- So what’s the solution then?
- You could start with yoga
- What will that do?
- It’s the first step to get your chakras spinning in the right direction
- Are you serious
- I am Bernie
- Well my solution Geraldine is get out of this house away from him, the kids, and housework and have a night out with the girls, have a few vodkas, a bit of karaoke and a bop and I’ll be right as rain
- Dance is good Bernie, with the right music it can help release your endorphins
- I’m talking about a bit of Abba and a few scoops down the pub Ger
- Alcohol is not the solution Bernie. You need to get in touch with your inner self
- I need to get in touch with a bottle of Smirnoff Geraldine
- I could do some reiki on you before you go
- You’re reiki-ing my head Ger
- Sorry Bernadette, I was just trying to help
- Ah I know Ger, sure come with us. You never know, you might enjoy it
- Thanks Bernie but I told Anthony I’d make him some tofu parmigiana tonight. It’s his favourite, I just popped out to buy some shredded mozarella and basil
- I thought steak and chips was Antos favourite?
- Oh no, it’s definitely my tofu
- Whatever you say Ger, anyway I’d better go, I’m meeting the girls at eight so I’d better hurry home to polish me halo
Ask me areolas Geraldine!
2 thoughts on “Chakras”
LOL Good idea! I think I’ll dust off my halo and connect with a bottle Smirnoff too. Who knows I might throw some ABBA in there.
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I’d choose that too Bernie. A couple of vodkas with the girls can cure almost any thing on any day! 🙂
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