Would you like to be young again Jimmy? I am young Younger then Like a teenager? Yeah No way Why not? It’s all too much trouble Ber How do you mean? All that hanging around with your mates. Chatting up girls, trying to look cool You do that every Saturday night down the pub Jimmy … Continue reading Young
Month: April 2015
X Factor
For the night that's in it...X Factor returns ; Bernie is a happy Bunny, Jimmy is not amused, and Simon still has the arse factor 🙂
Weeble
I was just dozing of when the doorbell rang. Fuckin’ Jimmy went out without his key again and of course everyone else was conveniently be asleep so I had to get up…again, to let him in. I found him wobbling on the front step like a bleedin’ weeble Have you no key? I forgot it … Continue reading Weeble
Viva Espana
Getting ready to go on Holiday is bad enough without Jimmy annoying me. Tickets, passports,money,Suncream, sunglasses, umberella… Why are you bringing an umberella? It might rain In Santa Ponsa? It rains in Spain In July? It might You’re mad Bernie I must be, I married you Jimmy Have you got everything? I’ve a feeling I’m … Continue reading Viva Espana
Unemployed
Jimmy was out of work for six months. He nearly drove me fucking mad. He was everywhere. I got up in the morning and he was waiting for his breakfast. I came back from the shops he was sitting there watching Jeremy Kyle. I was cooking the dinner and he was hanging over me. Every … Continue reading Unemployed
Tea
What is it about tea that Irish people think it solves all problems? I’m pregnant…have a cup of tea I crashed the car…you need a nice strong cup of tea for your nerves My fella broke up with me…he didn’t deserve you love, sit down and I’ll make you a cup of tea, you can … Continue reading Tea
Sunny Delight
Next doors dog keeps escaping into our garden and leaving little ‘messages’ Jimmy is not impressed... That dog’s done a shite in our garden again Ah poor Sunny Sunny my arse Poor Alison doesn’t get out much to bring him for a walk, he just comes in for a change of scenery He comes in … Continue reading Sunny Delight
Recovery
I thought I was great after the colonoscopy procedure but when Jimmy picked me up from the hospital I went straight home and collapsed into the bed. I slept for the whole afternoon. I was bleedin’ knackered. It was dark when I woke up… Are you awake Bernie? Hmmmm Are you awake? I am now … Continue reading Recovery
Queue
When I was let go from my job I went to sign on the dole. It was at the height of the recession as I joined thousands of other unemployed in the never-ending queue for benefits. I eventually got to the hatch… Have you ever received job seekers allowance before? No Is this your first … Continue reading Queue
Polyp Fiction
I had to go in to hospital for a colonoscopy. Dreading it, I was. I had to drink litres of fluid to 'clean myself out' the day before. I checked in to the hospital at 7am on the morning of the procedure. I got undressed and into my gown and after I was … Continue reading Polyp Fiction
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 