‘Your granny never had a stroke’ says I. ‘I’ll tell you exactly what happened, she nearly gave me a bloody heart attack’. She went upstairs for a nap while I went to do her shopping. When I got back,I heard her shouting as soon as I put the key in the door’
- BERNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
- Oh my god ma, what’s wrong?
- I think I’m having a stroke.
- Oh jaysis ma, how do you feel?
- I can’t feel my arm.
- Can you raise it up in the air.
- No. I can’t feel it I told you.
- What day is it?
- What are you asking me that for Bernie?
- To see if you’re confused.
- I’m not confused. I’m having a stroke.
- You’re not having a stroke. Who’s the president?
- Feck off Bernie. I don’t give a shite who’s president.
- You’re definitely not having a stroke ma.
- How do you know?
- Because if you were having a stroke you wouldn’t be still moaning at me.
- But I can’t see.
- You’ve no glasses on ma and the curtains are closed.
- I still can’t feel my arm.
- What side were you lying on?
- My right.
- What arm is numb?
- My right.
- I’ll just give it a rub for you.
- Ah jaysis stop, that hurts Bernie. You’re very rough.
- I thought it was numb?
- The feeling is coming back a bit.
- You just fell asleep on your arm ma, that’s all. You’re grand.
- Am I talking funny?
- No ma,you’re talking alright.
- I’m not, I’m talking funny
- You always talk like that when you’ve no teeth in ma.
- I could be dying for all you care.
- You’re not dying, you’re arm is just numb from lying on it.
- You’re not a doctor.
- I don’t need to be a doctor to know you’re numb from sleeping on your arm.
- You don’t have the bedside manner to be a doctor anyway.
- Thanks very much, I’m sure.
- You can make me a cup of tea, make yourself useful.
- Are you sure you can manage to lift a cup?
- See what I mean, no decorum.
- I was joking ma.
- It’s no joke. Just wait until you’re my age
- I can’t wait ma.
- You’ll know what it’s like to be me.
- If I get like you I hope they fucking shoot me
- What?
- ILL JUST GO MAKE YOU A CUP OF TEA.
That was years ago, and she’s still claiming she had a stroke. She’s healthier than the lot of us.
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 
What? What is G for 💜💜💜
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Well, on the bright side her memory is still there! 🙂
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You’re dead right. She forgets nothing 🙄
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Heeheehee! That’s not a stroke, but she’s like to give you a heart attack scaring you that way.
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She’s such a drama queen 🙄
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When we got our puppy, the first night he was sleeping on the bed and he started crying hysterically. I picked him up and he immediately peed all over me. I put him outside and he flopped over continuing to cry. It was a rough night. Turns out his paw had just fallen asleep. He still doesn’t react well when it happens. I think he would sympathize with your Mom. Weekends In Maine
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Aww poor puppy. 😢 It is scary when it happens alright. I was actually more sympathetic than I sound 🤭
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You’ve gotta love ‘em.
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That reminds me of once when I nearly gave myself an attack, woke up and there was this arm lying over my face. I screamed and threw it off and it flopped straight back again. I jumped out of bed still screaming, husband leapt up thinking we were being burgled. It was my own arm had gone to sleep. I felt such an eejit.
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Omg, same thing happened me🤣🤣🤣 I got such a fright.
You’d think I’d have had more sympathy for ma after that 🤭
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Not really. When you have that sneaking suspicion they’re just trying it on.
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