What are you up to today, Bernie?I'm going home to do my knitting, ma.You? knitting? Don't make me laugh.What's so funny?You don't knit.Yes I do.Since when?Since I took it up last month.And you've kept it up for a month?Yeah, why would you think I wouldn't?Because I remember the last time you took up a pair … Continue reading Knitting
2020 AtoZ
Blogging from AtoZ. April 2020
The whole tooth
Marilyn rang me ma then ma rang me ... Bernie, is that you?Yeah.Are you sure?Who did you ring ma?Bernie.Well then?I thought you were Phil. Well I'm not Phil.You girls all sound the same to me. But you rang me.You can never be too sure.Right, whatever. Anyway, what's up ma?Did you hear about, Eliza?Marilyn's daughter? What … Continue reading The whole tooth
Instagram Angles
I can't be doing with the hundreds of mammy/wannabe fashionistas on Instagram, spouting shite every five minutes 'My little angles, I love the bones of them. I do what I do for me kids, they're me world'. Well fuck off then, Chantelle and look after your bleedin' kids and stop pawning them off on your … Continue reading Instagram Angles
Nine Weeks
Last weeks government announcement didn't go down too well in our house. Nine more weeksNine fucking weeks.It's not funny anymore, Jimmy.It was never funny, Bernie.But it's less funny than it was the first time.Closing the pubs wasn't funny.But we thought it was only for a couple of months.If only we knew.At least we had good … Continue reading Nine Weeks
The most wonderful time of the year #endoflevel5
Everyone is fond of the drink except me ma...according to her that is.
Have yourself a Covid little Christmas
Where were you?Shopping.Again? You're never out of the shops lately, Bernie.There's feck all else to do ma.But you hate supermarkets. The supermarkets are the only shops open.You must be desperate.I must be.So, what are you buying?I'm getting a start on my Christmas shopping.Its only September.Its October, ma.Already? The days are flying by, but still...I know, … Continue reading Have yourself a Covid little Christmas
Second wave #covidtwo #thebreakdown
My pal Lynda rang me last night when news leaked about a potential new lockdown and a return to level five restrictions. She's inclined to panic a bit. I can't do it again, Bernie.Calm down, Lyn will you.How can I calm down? Me nerves are shot to bits.You'll be grand. Just do what you're doing … Continue reading Second wave #covidtwo #thebreakdown
Let’s go outside
MAAAAAAAAWhat are you shouting for Koko?Did you see my fur lined leggings anywhere?They're probably on your floordrobe with the rest of your clothes.They're not, I looked.How you can find anything in that pigsty of a room is beyond me.Its not a pigsty. I know where everything is.Not your furry leggings, you don't.You must have moved … Continue reading Let’s go outside
Bernie Rosé
Have you any spare wine ma? There's no such thing as spare wine, Whitney. Well, do you have a bottle I could borrow? You don't know the meaning of borrow. You take and never return. I do so. Where are the last dozen bottles you 'borrowed' then? When? Every time you're going out you take … Continue reading Bernie Rosé
Elbow bumps
Jasons young fella was over yesterday. I haven't seen him in weeks, god bless him. Hiya nanna Ah howya son, give us a hug there. Not yet nanna, there's still a virus you know. I know all about it, sure didn't I have it meself. I know, so I don't want to get it from … Continue reading Elbow bumps
