It’s Maisies last week in the nursing home. I know she secretly loves it but she just won’t admit it…

• Heya ma
• Hello Bernadette
• How are you getting on?
• Awful
• Why? Did you not do your physio today?
• I did
• Well, how was it
• Grand
• Well then?
• Well then what?
• Why did you say awful?
• I’m talking about this place
• It’s lovely ma
• You stay here then if it’s so lovely
• What do you not like about it?
• The food is shite
• What did you have for your lunch?
• Chicken and ham with carrots and potatoes and parsley sauce
• Sounds lovely.
• It was alright
• Did you get dessert?
• Jelly and ice cream
• Very nice
• It was alright
• Did you not eat your lunch then?
• Of course I ate it
• It can’t have been that bad so
• I was starving Bernie. I’d have eaten the leg of the table with no salt I was so hungry
• Oh, did you not have breakfast then?
• I did. Porridge,a boiled egg, brown bread,tea, toast and marmalade
• Is that all? No wonder you were starving by lunch time two hours later..
• Three hours actually
• Marie said you’d a great time at the bingo last night and you really enjoyed the singalong on Saturday
• What would Marie know?
• She’s one of the carers ma. She sees you everyday. She said you love it and get on great with the other patients
• Did she now?
• She did ma
• I sit with Rita at the Bingo
• Ah that’s great that you’ve made a friend
• …and Nora, she’s great at the singing
• Two new friends?
• There’s Eileen as well, but  she hasn’t a note in her head , she thinks she’s Vera Lynn.
• They can’t all be good singers ma
• It’s just as well most of them are deaf in here, that’s all I can say
• Did you sing on Saturday night  ma?
• Well, they insisted. I had no choice
• Que sera sera?
• You know I love a bit of Doris Day Bernie
• I’d say you were great
• I had to do an encore…The Black hills of Dakota
• They’ll miss you when you go home ma
• D’ye think so Bernie?
• I know so ma…and you’ll miss them
• No I won’t.
• You will, just wait and see
• I won’t
• Not even Rita?
• Well maybe Rita…
• What about Nora and Eileen
• Maybe Nora, but not Eileen
• Because she’s a crap singer?
• No, because she’s a pain in the arse!

Takes one to know one sometimes I suppose!