I went in to see ma today. She had to go to rehab after her knee op. It’s only for a few weeks but she thinks she’ll never get home…

• Howya ma
• Hello Bernadette
• Oh Bernadette now is it?
• It’s your name isn’t it?
• What’s up with you today? You’re in a right mood
• You know what’s up…same thing that was up yesterday and last week and the week before that
• What?
• This place
• What’s wrong with it?
• It’s full of old people
• You’re old
• What?
• Are you cold?
• Indeed I’m not, sure it’s like an oven in this place.
• Alright, I was only asking
• Why would you be asking if I’m cold
• I’m just concerned because I know old people feel the cold more than young ones
• Well I’m sweating and the sooner I’m out of this place the better
• They can’t let you out until you’re mobile ma
• I am mobile.
• You’re not ma
• There’s nothing wrong with me
• Grand. Do you want to go for a walk outside in the sunshine so?
• That would be lovely Bernie. I could do with a breath of fresh air
• Come on then, I’ll hoosh you up
• Take it easy Bernie. Jaysisssss….no no no
• No what? What’s wrong with you? Calm down for fuck sake
• Me knee, that’s what’s wrong with me
• Here ma link me while we’re walking
• Indeed I wont link you. I’m not walking anywhere. Go get me a wheelchair
• But I thought…
• What? What did you think Bernie?
• Nothing ma….’nurse any chance of a wheelchair for me ma’

‘Jaysisssssss is right!