• I can’t wait to get home Bernie. I miss me own bed
• You’ll be in it soon enough, sure the time has flown by in here
• For you maybe, but for me it’s been a lifetime
• Hardly a lifetime ma
• Six weeks you said, six weeks…and It’s been nearly three months
• You could have been home weeks ago if you hadn’t been trying to limbo at Norma’s birthday party. What the hell were you thinking? You’re lucky you didn’t do more damage when you fell
• I didn’t fall, I was pushed. That Norma one is a jealous bitch, just because I went lower than her
• She’s ninety five ma…AND on a zimmerframe…AND it was her birthday
• Age has nothing to do with jealousy, and her zimmerframe gave her an extra edge
• I’ve heard it all now
• I won’t be sorry to see the back of her
• Well you’ll be home in two days ma. Poor Norma won’t
• Poor Norma my arse. She loves it, they run after her like a Queen bee because she’s the oldest resident. She’s a bleedin’ attention seeker
• I thought she was your friend?
• She is, but she still gets on me nerves. But God love her, you know her family put her in here for two weeks respite
• That’s not long ma
• That was two years ago Bernie, and she’s still here
• Ah that’s shocking
• She’s still waiting for them to visit
• Bastards! How could anyone abandon their own mother?
• You tell me Bernie
• We didn’t abandon you ma, for jaysis sake you’ve been in for a few weeks to convalescence after your op
• …and I told you I’d convalesce at home
• How could you do that? We couldn’t look after you when you couldn’t walk
• I can look after meself
• ..and how were you supposed to get in and out of the toilet and bathroom?
• I’d have managed
• No you wouldn’t
• I would
• Stoppit ma. If you keep annoying me, you’ll be sharing a room with Norma
• I will not
• You will. I’ll fucking leave you here
• You wouldn’t Bernie
• No I wouldn’t ma
• Sorry for moaning Bernie
• Ah it’s grand ma. You’ll be home soon
• I will
• …and sure won’t you be grand with your new carer
• What?
• Your carer
• I don’t need a carer
• You need one when you go home
• I’m not having one
• So you want to stay in here then?
• No I do not.
• Well, they’re only letting you home if we agree to you having a carer
• I’m not having a stranger in my house
• They won’t be strange when you get to know them
• I don’t want to get to know them
• Well you’ve no choice
• What do you mean?
• There’s going to be one coming twice a week
• She can feck off
• Don’t be so ungrateful
• Can you not come?
• I can’t come everyday, that’s why you need a carer.
• Right so Bernadette. You head on home now,I’d better go for my tea. They don’t like you being late for your tea
• See you tomorrow ma
• It’s ok Bernie. I know you’re busy
• For fuck sake ma…and you say Norma is an attention seeker!

God give me patience  😦