Jimmy got some bad news down the pub last night. He was a bit upset when he came home

• You’ll never guess who’s dead Bernie
• Who
• Guess
• I don’t know
• You’ll never guess
• Well tell me then
• Just guess tho’
• Why do you always do this
• Do what
• Turn everything into a guessing game. Just bleedin’ tell me
• But just guess
• Elvis
• Ah fuck off Bernie .Everyone knows Elvis is dead
• Michael Jackson
• You’re messin’ Bernie
• Clint Eastwood
• No, it’s someone we know
• I know Clint
• Clint Eastwood isn’t dead Bernie, and you don’t know him
• Oh, I’m thinking of Barney Eastwood
• You don’t know him either
• Well just tell me then. Do I know them
• Of course you know them. I wouldn’t be asking you to guess if you didn’t know them
• Give us a clue
• He drinks down the pub
• Everyone we know drinks down the pub Jimmy
• It’s a man
• Jack Byrne
• No
• Paul Duggan
• No
• I give up, tell me
• Shaymo Lawlor
• No way
• Yeah way. I knew you’d never guess
• He’s only your age Jimmy
• I know, scary isn’t it
• I thought you were going to say one of the aul lads from the back bar
• Gods waiting room ye mean
• You’re terrible Jimmy
• Sure jaysis, they’re all half dead Bernie, and there’s Shaymo fit as a fiddle, cut down in his prime
• Not that fit Jimmy, he’s dead
• That’s brutal
• Aww, poor Shaymo. How did it happen
• Massive heart attack on the golf course
• That’s shocking
• I know. This is why I never took up golf Bernie. You’re always hearing of chaps kicking the bucket on the golf course
• You never took up golf because you said it’s boring
• Well that as well
• It’s hardly a strenuous sport like
• It’s more of a social sport
• Like snooker ye mean
• There’s nothing wrong with snooker
• I never said there was
• You were being smart Bernie. I played football in me day
• I know. Sure didn’t I spend most of me Saturdays off standing on the sidelines cheering you on Jimmy
• You did Ber, you did. Those were the days
• You were a great footballer in your day love
• What do you mean, in my day? I can still kick a football
• I’m sure you can
• I’m not dead yet
• Look at poor Shaymo, he could kick a football too Jimmy
• He’s kicked the bucket now Ber. Poor sod, never knew what hit him. I’d like to go like that.
• But you don’t play golf Jimmy
• I mean ,out with the lads, having the craic
• I thought he was on the golf course
• Well he was having a few pints at the nineteenth hole, same thing
• So it wasn’t the golf that killed him
• Golf doesn’t kill ye Bernie
• It does if you get hit hard enough in the head by a golf ball
• That’s shocking Bernie. The poor chap is barely cold and you’re making jokes
• Ah sorry Jimmy
• Ah, I’m only messin’, Shaymo would have thought it was funny
• Shaymo was very fond of the beer. I’d say that didn’t do him any favours health-wise
• Nothing wrong with a few pints Bernie
• A few yeah, but no need to go mad
• Look who’s talking. I’ve seen you skull more than a few when you’re with the girls
• Not every night tho’ Jimmy. Shaymo was down that pub every night
• He liked the banter with the lads.
• …and the beer
• Sure that’s the whole point of going the pub Bernie…beer and banter
• You’ll be drinking in Gods waiting room soon
• I will in me arse.
• You won’t be taking up golf then
• No way. I’ll stick to me snooker for now. Golf is too dangerous
• It’s all balls to me Jimmy
• That’s harsh Bernie

R.I.P. Shaymo