Blankety Blank

blankety-blank-e1331713324474

 

  • Terry Wogan but Jimmy ¬†ūüė¶
  • Another one bites the dust
  • January has been a bitch
  • Sure has Ber
  • Best Eurovision presenter ever
  • He was good craic alright
  • Graham Norton is good tho’
  • I believe ye Ber
  • Children in Need will never be the same
  • Another gig for Graham then
  • Ah stoppit Jimmy
  • I’m only makin’ an observation Bernie
  • The two of them are from Limerick
  • I suppose someone has to be
  • True
  • Remember Blankety Blank?
  • I always wanted a blankety blank cheque book and pen
  • Only the losers got one of them Ber
  • You would have got one handy enough then Jimmy
  • Fuck off Ber
  • Jaysis, take a joke will ye
  • You’re hilarious alright
  • Terry was on Top of the Pops once
  • I remember ‘The Floral dance’?
  • Scarlet for him
  • He loved takin’ the piss
  • He was never crude but Jimmy
  • True Bernie. He could have the ¬†craic without being vulgar
  • Unlike some people
  • What are you gettin’ at
  • Nothin’. Just sayin’
  • Right
  • A gentleman with a great sense of humour
  • Gas man alright
  • Ye know he was great pals with Gloria
  • ¬†Gloria √Čstefan?
  • No, ye gobshite; Gloria Hunniford
  • Yer one off loose women?
  • I thought you didn’t watch loose women?
  • I don’t. I heard you talkin’ about her on it once
  • Yeah right. Ye know Terry used to call her Glorious Hunnybuns
  • Good man Terry
  • So many legends gone since Christmas Jimmy
  • Terry is up there with them all
  • Doin’ the floral dance
  • Still takin’ the piss
  • Havin’ a pint with Alan Rickman
  • …and Lemmy
  • Playing Bowie records
  • Great DJ
  • They needed the best
  • They have him now

 

R.I.P. Terry

 

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Sorrow

Bowie

Hard to believe he’s dead Ber

I know. He was just always there wasn’t he?

69 wha’…trust him. He’d laugh at tha’

Have a bit of respect

Would ye gerraway oua dat. Bowie would think tha’ was hilarious

You’ve a dirty mind Jimmy Violet

Remember ‘The laughing gnome ‘Bernie?

Yeah, not one of me favourites tho’. It was a bit mad

He was always a bit mad himself, he was great tho’ wasn’t he

Hahaha heeheehee

I’m the laughing gnome and you can’t catch me

Remember when we were only goin’ out together, you used to sing ‘Sorrow’ to me

He could’ve wrote tha’ song for you Ber

Ah it was me favourite Bowie song

With your  long blond hair and your eyes of blue, the only thing I ever got from you was sorrow

Sooorrrrowwww

Actin’ funny, tryin’ to spend me money

Fuck off , ye hadn’t a bleedin’ ha’penny when I met ye

Just as well I was good lookin’ then Ber

The man who sold the world Jimmy

You never do what you know you oughta, somethin’ tells me you’re the Devils daughter…

Sorrrrowwww

It’s a sad day Ber

Too sad Jimmy

R.I.P.  Ziggy Stardust.

 

 

 

The quiet man and the wild woman

Maureen O'Hara

  • ¬†See poor aul Maureen O’Hara died Jimmy
  • Lord rest her. She was a great age but Bernie
  • Ninety five. Jaysis imagine living to be ninety five
  • She looked great for her age. She always reminded me of me ma
  • She wasn’t a bit like your ma. Your ma had brown hair, before she went grey I mean. Maureen was a redhead
  • I’m not talking about her hair Bernie. I mean her manner
  • What? A drama Queen you mean?
  • My ma is not a drama Queen
  • Whatever you say Jimmy
  • Maureen never forgot where she came from. My ma is the same.
  • Your ma has lived in The Liberties all her life Jimmy, she’s hardly likely to forget
  • She was a passionate woman
  • Who? Your ma?
  • No Maureen. Remember her in ‘The Quiet Man’
  • She was acting Jimmy. she was an actress
  • Me da always said she had fire in her blood
  • Maureen?
  • No, me ma. I believe she was a wild woman in her day
  • …and him such a quiet man himself
  • Except when he drank whiskey
  • Remember what he said when you’d ask him if he’d like a drop of water for his whiskey Jimmy.
  • ‘When I drink whiskey I drink whiskey. When I drink water I drink water’
  • He robbed that from the movie
  • He said they robbed it from him
  • The quiet man
  • …and the wild woman
  • R.I.P. Da
  • R.I.P. Maureen

Balls

golf-flag-19th-hole-md

Jimmy got some bad news down the pub last night. He was a bit upset when he came home

  • You’ll never guess who’s dead Bernie
  • Who
  • Guess
  • I don’t know
  • You’ll never guess
  • Well tell me then
  • Just guess tho’
  • Why do you always do this
  • Do what
  • Turn everything into a guessing game. Just bleedin’ tell me
  • But just guess
  • Elvis
  • Ah fuck off Bernie .Everyone knows Elvis is dead
  • Michael Jackson
  • You’re messin’ Bernie
  • Clint Eastwood
  • No, it’s someone we know
  • I know Clint
  • Clint Eastwood isn’t dead Bernie, and you don’t know him
  • Oh, I’m thinking of Barney Eastwood
  • You don’t know him either
  • Well just tell me then. Do I know them
  • Of course you know them. I wouldn’t be asking you to guess if you didn’t know them
  • Give us a clue
  • He drinks down the pub
  • Everyone we know drinks down the pub Jimmy
  • It’s a man
  • Jack Byrne
  • No
  • Paul Duggan
  • No
  • I give up, tell me
  • Shaymo Lawlor
  • No way
  • Yeah way. I knew you’d never guess
  • He’s only your age Jimmy
  • I know, scary isn’t it
  • I thought you were going to say one of the aul lads from the back bar
  • Gods waiting room ye mean
  • You’re terrible Jimmy
  • Sure jaysis, they’re all half dead Bernie, and there’s Shaymo fit as a fiddle, cut down in his prime
  • Not that fit Jimmy, he’s dead
  • That’s brutal
  • Aww, poor Shaymo. How did it happen
  • Massive heart attack on the golf course
  • That’s shocking
  • I know. This is why I never took up golf Bernie. You’re always hearing of chaps kicking the bucket on the golf course
  • You never took up golf because you said it’s boring
  • Well that as well
  • It’s hardly a strenuous sport like
  • It’s more of a social sport
  • Like snooker ye mean
  • There’s nothing wrong with snooker
  • I never said there was
  • You were being smart Bernie. I played football in me day
  • I know. Sure didn’t I spend most of me Saturdays off standing on the sidelines cheering you on Jimmy
  • You did Ber, you did. Those were the days
  • You were a great footballer in your day love
  • What do you mean, in my day? I can still kick a football
  • I’m sure you can
  • I’m not dead yet
  • Look at poor Shaymo, he could kick a football too Jimmy
  • He’s kicked the bucket now Ber. Poor sod, never knew what hit him. I’d like to go like that.
  • But you don’t play golf Jimmy
  • I mean ,out with the lads, having the craic
  • I thought he was on the golf course
  • Well he was having a few pints at the nineteenth hole, same thing
  • So it wasn’t the golf that killed him
  • Golf doesn’t kill ye Bernie
  • It does if you get hit hard enough in the head by a golf ball
  • That’s shocking Bernie. The poor chap is barely cold and you’re making jokes
  • Ah sorry Jimmy
  • Ah, I’m only messin’, Shaymo would have thought it was funny
  • Shaymo was¬†very¬†fond of the beer. I’d say that didn’t do him any favours health-wise
  • Nothing wrong with a few pints Bernie
  • A few yeah, but no need to go mad
  • Look who’s talking. I’ve seen you skull more than a few when you’re with the girls
  • Not every night tho’ Jimmy. Shaymo was down that pub every night
  • He liked the banter with the lads.
  • …and the beer
  • Sure that’s the whole point of going the pub Bernie…beer and banter
  • You’ll be drinking in Gods waiting room soon
  • I will in me arse.
  • You won’t be taking up golf then
  • No way. I’ll stick to¬†me¬†snooker for now. Golf is too dangerous
  • It’s all balls to me Jimmy
  • That’s harsh Bernie

R.I.P. Shaymo