The sun’s been out for two feckin’ days and people are moaning about the heat already. Guess who’s the worst culprit? Yeah, you’re right. Jimmy came home from work early yesterday, sweating buckets.

• Jaysis Ber, I’m bleedin’ meltin’
• Must be something to do with the weather Jimmy
• The heat is unreal tho’ isn’t it
• Ah give over will ye , it’ll probably be pissing rain tomorrow
• A drop of rain would be no harm
• What? Will you give over. It’s been raining for weeks
• You’d miss it but
• Miss the rain? Ehhh, no
• I’m burned to a rasher working out in that heat.
• You’d be moaning if you had to work indoors
• At least there would be air conditioning
• You’re never happy are ye?
• I’m just hot Bernie. It’s ok for you, lying out on your sun lounger under your umberella all day
• Excuse me, I’m not lying out all day. I was working until one o’clock…indoors, with NO air conditioning, then I had to come home and do me housework. I’m only after coming out this minute
• Ah yeah, I believe ye
• Fuck off Jimmy. Believe what ye like, now move, you’re blocking me rays
• Ah but, messing aside, it is nice to have a bit of sun all the same. I just wish it wasn’t so hot
• It’s not that hot
• You could fry an egg on the bonnet of me van it’s so hot Bernie
• That’s handy. I wont have to put the cooker on to make you a rasher and egg sambo so
• Ah that sounds lovely Ber, I’m bleedin’ starvin’
• Would you like a sandwich love?
• I’d love one
• Grand, make me one too while you’re at it
• Very funny
• I wasn’t trying to be funny. I’d love a sandwich
• Ah, you make them nicer Bernie
• You just hate to see me sitting down don’t ye
• I’m knackered too, I had to knock off early  because of the sunshine and the high pollen count. I’m in bits here Bernie
• You’d have to knock off early if it was raining Jimmy
• The perils of being a builder Bernie
• My heart bleeds for you
• I’d never get any sympathy in this house
• You knocked off work early and you’re looking for sympathy? Get a grip will ye
• It’s true what the say ‘leave your feelings at the door before you enter this house’
• Who said that?
• I’m saying nothing
• Well shurrup then annoying me, will ye
• Well a bit of concern for my hay fever wouldn’t go amiss
• Oh for Gods sake, sit down ’til I go get your sambo and  antihistamines
• Cheers love, oh and a beer from the fridge would be nice
• Don’t push it Jimmy, don’t fuckin’ push it

Give me patience!