• Hey Ber
• Hey Julie
• What’s up with you? You’ve a face on you like a slapped arse
• Don’t you start
• What? I’m only joking
• Well I’m sick of people passing comment
• Like who?
• Everyone
• What are they saying?
• That I’m a boring shite
• Who said that? Cheeky fuckers
• Tina
• Ah don’t mind her, she’d hardly Mrs fun factory herself is she. When  did she say this?
• The other night when I wouldn’t go to the pub
• You wouldn’t go to the pub? Jaysis, that’s serious shit Ber
• See you’re at it now!
• Sorry Ber, I’m only buzzin’ with you
• Tina said all I talk about is my weight
• Well, to be fair Bernie…
• Don’t you start
• Jaysis, keep your knickers on
• My big fat Bridget Jones knickers you mean?
• Don’t exaggerate
• I’m not exaggerating. I’m pissed off being fat
• You are not fat, anyway haven’t you lost a few pounds?
• Four
• That’s brilliant.
• Yeah it is isn’t it, but I had a rasher sandwich yesterday so I’d say they’re back on
• Stop the lights, Bernie had a sandwich!
• Fuck off Julie. I’m raging with myself
• Did you enjoy it?
• Yeah it was gorgeous, even nicer than the Big Mac
• Well then it was worth it so…wait a minute..a Big Mac? When..
• …Don’t even ask Julie; then there were all the Easter eggs remember?
• Whatever Bernie. Look today is a new day so forget the rashers and big macs and chocolate and move on. You’re putting yourself under too much pressure, all for the sake of a few pounds
• I’ve no willpower
• You’re doing great but you do need to lighten up and stop counting the calories in every bloody thing you pick up
• I can’t help it. Tina said I’m obsessed
• You are a bit
• I suppose I am, I nearly ate the head off her
• Jesus, you must’ve been hungry
• Starving

😩😩😩