#W is forWheelchair friendly #AtoZChallenge

  • I’m of to the bingo Jimmy
  • This early?It’s only half five
  • I’m collecting me ma
  • Maisie’s going to bingo? I thought she couldn’t walk
  • We got a loan of a wheelchair for her
  • Whacker Byrne has a wheelchair friendly bus now has he?
  • No,he’s bleedin’ useless, so we’ve to walk, that’s why I’m leavin’ so early
  • I don’t know how he gets any passengers for the Bingo run at all, sure aren’t they all half dead
  • Here fuck off you, who’re you callin’ half dead?
  • Well apart from yerself and Julie and the Maureen one, they all have one foot in the grave
  • That’s shocking talk Jimmy Violet. They all love the bingo, it’s the only outing they have all week
  • Don’t they get to mass as well, and I’m sure they have a funeral a week to go to. There can’t be too many of them left at this stage. I think Whacker is in the wrong business Ber…he should be driving limos for the undertakers, and he’d get less grief from his passengers.
  • Well he’ll be getting grief off me when I see him, refusing to take me mas wheelchair. He can stick his bus up his swiss from now on. Right I’d better go, me ma will be hangin’ out the window waitin’ for me
  • …and how are ye gettin’ home?
  • We’ll get a taxi if we win
  • …and if ye don’t win?
  • Then I’ll be knackered walkin’
  • Ye can’t be pushin’ Maisie in the dark Ber ,I’ll pick you up.
  • Sure you’ll be in the pub Jimmy, and anyway will a wheelchair even fit into the back of your van with all that shite?
  • It’s not shite, it’s me tools for work Bernie, and sure I’ll go the pub later. Isn’t the bingo over at ten?
  • Yeah but I can’t see a wheelchair fitting in, and sure me ma can’t climb up into that front seat of  the van anyway.
  • I’ll hoosh her up
  • Hoosh her? Me ma is eighty five and she’s just had a knee operation Jimmy, ye can’t hoosh her anywhere
  • I’m only tryin’ to help Bernie, go on and walk so.
  • Ah go on so, but give us a lift to me mas first will ye Jimmy.
  • Will YOU be able to get up into the seat Ber?
  • Sure can’t ye hoosh me up Jimmy
  • I’ll hoosh you any time Bernie
  • Is that a threat Jimmy?
  • It’s a promise Ber
  • You’re right, I am a soft touch.
  • I’ll let ye know.
  • Dirty minded fecker, here you may as well bring us to the Bingo while you’re at it. Get a bit of practice in for when you collect us
  • Ah you’re pushing it now Ber
  • No I’m not. I’m getting a lift off you.

Just as well he collected us; we won feck all again!

I sent me ma to rehab and she said ‘no no no’

I went in to see ma today. She had to go to rehab after her knee op. It’s only for a few weeks but she thinks she’ll never get home…

 

  • Howya ma
  • Hello Bernadette
  • Oh Bernadette now is it?
  • It’s your name isn’t it?
  • What’s up with you today? You’re in a right mood
  • You know what’s up…same thing that was up yesterday and last week and the week before that
  • What?
  • This place
  • What’s wrong with it?
  • It’s full of old people
  • You’re old
  • What?
  • Are you cold?
  • Indeed I’m not, sure it’s like an oven in this place.
  • Alright, I was only asking
  • Why would you be asking if I’m cold
  • I’m just concerned because I know old people feel the cold more than young ones
  • Well I’m sweating and the sooner I’m out of this place the better
  • They can’t let you out until you’re mobile ma
  • I am mobile.
  • You’re not ma
  • There’s nothing wrong with me
  • Grand. Do you want to go for a walk outside in the sunshine so?
  • That would be lovely Bernie. I could do with a breath of fresh air
  • Come on then, I’ll hoosh you up
  • Take it easy Bernie. Jaysisssss….no no no
  • No what? What’s wrong with you? Calm down for fuck sake
  • Me knee, that’s what’s wrong with me
  • Here ma link me while we’re walking
  • Indeed I wont link you. I’m not walking anywhere. Go get me a wheelchair
  • But I thought…
  • What? What did you think Bernie?
  • Nothing ma….’nurse any chance of a wheelchair for me ma’

‘Jaysisssssss is right!