• Oh hello Bernadette, come in,
• Hiya Geraldine, Jimmy said you were looking for me
• Yes, I thought it would be nice to spend more time together. We’ve been sister in laws for a long time and we hardly ever see each other
• Oh yeah right, and what brought this on then?
• Well I reckon its time for making some resolutions
• Oh so I’m one of your resolutions am I?
• Well sort of
• So what’s on your list then?
• I’ve only three things so far 1. Start a diet. 2. Exercise more. 3. Give up drink.
• For fuck sake Ger. Will you leave it out
• What?
•  1. There’s not a pick on you. 2. You already do yoga, Pilates, spin class and speed walking every other day. 3. You don’t even drink
• Thanks for the encouragement Bernie. I was going to ask you to join me
• Join you in what?
• My New Years list
• Thanks a bunch Ger. With in laws like you who needs a slap from someone else
• What?
• You telling me I need to lose weight, exercise more and give up the drink
• Well you were complaining over Christmas  about your clothes being too tight. So if you go on a diet and walk with me everyday and stop going to the pub so often, you’ll lose loads.
• Me go to the pub so often? Maybe you should be talking to your husband, not me
• I’m only trying to help Bernadette
• This list of yours
• Yeah, what about it?
• It sounds like a list for me…are you writing that list for me?
• No
• Are you saying I’m fat?
• Not fat exactly, but…
• Are you saying I’m not fit?
• Well…
• Are you saying I drink too much?
• Well…
• What am I? your New Years project?
• I was only trying to help
• If I needed help,  which I dont! You’re the last person I’d be calling, the bleedin’ cheek of you
• I just thought we could do stuff together
• You’re already doing everything on that list, so why write it down and show it to me? I’m not an eejit Geraldine
• Ah just forget the list Bernie
• No I won’t forget it … STRING BEAN GERALDINE
• I beg your pardon?
• That’s what everyone calls you
• That’s not very nice
• Hurts doesn’t it Ger? What am I ? BIG ARSE BERNIE?
• I never said that?
• You may as well have Geraldine, now if you’ll excuse me, I told Jimmy I’d meet him for lunch…IN THE PUB, if you don’t mind. I was going to ask you if yourself and Anto wanted to join us.
• We’d love to have lunch with you and Jimmy, come on  I’ll drive, I’ll just go call Anthony
• Forget it Geraldine, I’ll walk…burn a few  inches off my fat arse before I stuff my face and skull a feed of pints
• I never said you’d a fat arse
• You’ve said enough Geraldine. I’m not one of your lost causes
• I’m sorry Bernadette
• You’d better add number four to your list while you’re at it
• What’s that?
• Find some other gobshite to spin with
• But Bernadette…
• But nothing. Goodbye,and mind you don’t fall down any drains while you’re out running.

The nerve of her, skinny bitch!!