• Will I read your horoscope Jimmy?
• For what?
• So you’ll know what’s in store for you today
• I already know what’s in store for me today
• You think you do
• I know I do. I’m going to go to work, come home, have me dinner, watch a bit of telly, go for a pint, come home again, go to bed and go to sleep. I don’t need some aul one in a magazine telling me any different
• It’s not some aul one, it’s Mystic Maura
• Mystic Maura? Is that the best she could come up with?
• That’s her name. Maura Maher. She predicts the future
• Predict my arse. I plan me own future
• But there could be forces at work that will conspire to get in the way of what you’re planning
• Have you been out with Geraldine again?
• No;why?
• Because you’re beginning to sound like her
• Your future is in the stars Jimmy
• Ask me swiss roll Bernie. Me future is being late for work if I sit here listening to anymore of this shite.
• You wouldn’t think it was shite if it came true
• Next thing you’ll want to ‘fix me aura’ or ‘align me chackras’ like Geraldine does everytime she calls over with Anto
• Fuck off Jimmy. I only wanted to read your horoscope
• Ah for jasus sake go on then, hurry up
• It says here that your fortune is due a turnaround
• What the fuck does that mean?
• You could be about to come in to money
• I’d better go to the bookies on the way to the pub then Ber
• I thought you didn’t believe in hososcopes?
• Who am I to mess with the stars Bernie?
• It also says to take your time with any adjustments in your life
• I won’t book the Bahamas as soon as I collect me winnings then. I’ll wait ‘til the weekend
• …listen to your dreams, they will lead the way
• I’m dreaming of a nice creamy pint right now Ber, does this mean I should go to the pub instead of going to work then?
• Oh get out to work Jimmy, you’re getting on me nerves now
• What does your horoscope say Bernie?
• It says be wary of gobshites
• Ah here Bernie, leave it out
• No, you’re always slagging me
• I am not. I just don’t believe all that mumbo jumbo
• It’s only a bleedin’ horoscope
• No one can predict your future Ber
• It’s just a bit of fun. I like reading it
• I don’t know why. You only believe it if it ‘s good news. When it’s bad you say it’s a pile of shite
• I do not
• You do so. Life isn’t like that Ber. You have to take the bad with the good
• Well the bad news is you were right about being late for work
• Ah for fuck sake, look at the time
• The good news is, I’ll see you later
• Is that a threat or a promise?
• It’s whatever you want it to be
• Ooh saucy, am I on a promise then Ber?
• It’s written in the stars Jimmy
• I’ll be home early then
• I bet you will, ye dirtbird

Who knows what the future holds  🙂