Zodiac

Z

  • Will I read your horoscope Jimmy?
  • For what?
  • So you’ll know what’s in store for you today
  • I already know what’s in store for me today
  • You think you do
  • I know I do. I’m going to go to work, come home, have me dinner, watch a bit of telly, go for a pint, come home again, go to bed and go to sleep. I don’t need some aul one in a magazine telling me any different
  • It’s not some aul one, it’s Mystic Maura
  • Mystic Maura? Is that the best she could come up with?
  • That’s her name. Maura Maher. She predicts the future
  • Predict my arse. I plan me own future
  • But there could be forces at work that will conspire to get in the way of what you’re planning
  • Have you been out with Geraldine again?
  • No;why?
  • Because you’re beginning to sound like her
  • Your future is in the stars Jimmy
  • Ask me swiss roll Bernie. Me future is being late for work if I sit here listening to anymore of this shite.
  • You wouldn’t think it was shite if it came true
  • Next thing you’ll want to ‘fix me aura’ or ‘align me chackras’ like Geraldine does everytime she calls over with Anto
  • Fuck off Jimmy. I only wanted to read your horoscope
  • Ah for jasus sake go on then, hurry up
  • It says here that your fortune is due a turnaround
  • What the fuck does that mean?
  • You could be about to come in to money
  • I’d better go to the bookies on the way to the pub then Ber
  • I thought you didn’t believe in hososcopes?
  • Who am I to mess with the stars Bernie?
  • It also says to take your time with any adjustments in your life
  • I won’t book the Bahamas as soon as I collect me winnings then. I’ll wait ‘til the weekend
  • …listen to your dreams, they will lead the way
  • I’m dreaming of a nice creamy pint right now Ber, does this mean I should go to the pub instead of going to work then?
  • Oh get out to work Jimmy, you’re getting on me nerves now
  • What does your horoscope say Bernie?
  • It says be wary of gobshites
  • Ah here Bernie, leave it out
  • No, you’re always slagging me
  • I am not. I just don’t believe all that mumbo jumbo
  • It’s only a bleedin’ horoscope
  • No one can predict your future Ber
  • It’s just a bit of fun. I like reading it
  • I don’t know why. You only believe it if it ‘s good news. When it’s bad you say it’s a pile of shite
  • I do not
  • You do so. Life isn’t like that Ber. You have to take the bad with the good
  • Well the bad news is you were right about being late for work
  • Ah for fuck sake, look at the time
  • The good news is, I’ll see you later
  • Is that a threat or a promise?
  • It’s whatever you want it to be
  • Ooh saucy, am I on a promise then Ber?
  • It’s written in the stars Jimmy
  • I’ll be home early then
  • I bet you will, ye dirtbird

Who knows what the future holds  🙂

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