The Foxrock Tragedy, by Blly O Hanluain

I look at worlds from both sides now…

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Mrs. Bouquet

Hyacinth

Got me hair done this morning, met Julie after for a coffee and a chat…

  • I love the new do Ber
  • Thanks Julie. You know Jimmy said my hair is my crowning glory
  • Really; what’s he looking for?
  • Nothing
  • Ha, be looking for his swiss roll tonight Ber
  • Fuck off Julie. Can a man not give his wife a compliment now?
  • Jaysis, you’re even beginning to sound like him now
  • I am not
  • You are so… ‘can a man not give his wife a compliment now’
  • Jaysis, Jimmy is always saying that
  • I told you. You’re turning into your husband
  • Oh stop Julie, I am too
  • Brainwashed after all these years
  • Look who’s talking?
  • What are you on about?
  • Ray said this, Ray said that
  • Fuck off, I do not
  • Ye do so.
  • I don’t
  • You’re always at it
  • Oh jaysis Bernie, you’re right.
  • I know I’m right
  • Holy lord, what are we like?
  • Two married oul ones, that’s what
  • When did we turn into our mas?
  • Better turning into our mas and not their ma Julie
  • God forbid and all harm Bernie
  • ‘My husband and I’
  • ‘My son Raymond’
  • ‘My son James’
  • ‘My husband William’
  • ‘My Willie’
  • Don’t be dirty
  • Poor Willie, lord rest him
  • He’s a saint in Heaven
  • He was a saint on earth putting up with her
  • The bould Mrs Violet
  • Lily of the valley
  • Lily Violet, jaysis it’s nearly as bad as Rose Violet
  • Shurrup Jacintha
  • Fuck off
  • Did you know Jacintha is Spanish for Hyacinth
  • Ye, scarleh for me
  • Julie Jacintha, jaysis what was yer ma thinkin’?
  • Jacintha is after me granny
  • Mrs. Bouquet
  • That’s what the kids pals call me
  • Mine too…ha
  • Scarleh for ye Julie Jacintha Violet
  • Scarleh for ye Bernie Rose Violet

Flower power wha’!  🙂

I will survive

solpadeine

I woke up with the mother of all hangovers this morning. The last thing I remember is knocking back shots  with Lynn and Julie after we did our Gloria Gaynor party piece on the karaoke…

  • Me head is bangin’ Jimmy
  • I’ve no sympathy
  • I didn’t ask for any
  • Self inflicted Bernie
  • …and you’ve never had a hangover in your life I suppose
  • I don’t do hangovers Ber
  • You do so, you just don’t let on
  • You know me Ber;  I’m not one for complaining
  • Leave it out will ye, you’re always complaining
  • I am not
  • You are so
  • Like when?
  • Like when you sneezed last week and swore you were dying with flu
  • Don’t exaggerate
  • I’m not exaggerating, you were exaggerating
  • I never said I was dying. I just said I thought I was getting the flu
  • Well you were lying on the sofa all day like a dying swan, demanding hot drinks and chip sambos
  • Feed a flu, starve a fever
  • You didn’t have a flu
  • Well it was coming on
  • You’re talking through your swiss roll Jimmy
  • I am not Bernie, they say eat and drink loads to combat flu
  • Well ‘THEY’ didn’t have to put up with your moans all day
  • I wasn’t moaning. I was sick. Jaysis I wouldn’t want to be looking for sympathy from you anyway
  • There wasn’t a bother on ye when Anto rang ye to go to the pub
  • United were playing
  • So United cures the flu..should have told me earlier,I could’ve ordered Sky Sports, saved me traipsing in and out all day with bleedin’ cups of tea and lem sips
  • I forced meself to go. I didn’t want to let Anto down
  • Would you get out of that. You were out that door like a blue arsed fly when he called
  • I was very weak. Anto had to link me to the pub
  • …well the drink obviously didn’t help, because he had to link you comin’ home aswell
  • I thought the few pints would sort me out but they just went to me head
  • Nothing to do with the whiskey then
  • A hot whiskey is yer only man Ber, I felt like a new man after
  • Obviously you did Jimmy, because you didn’t know your own name when you got home.
  • It was them lem sips did it Bernie,  I shouldn’t have taken them with the solpadeine
  • Never mind the eight pints and whiskey chasers
  • …and you say I’ve no sympathy
  • I didn’t mix medication and drink
  • You’re a cold fish sometimes Bernie
  • Says you, telling me my headache is self inflicted
  • Well it is
  • I’ll survive
  • I’m sure you will Bernie
  • Ask me arse Jimmy
  • I would, but I’m afraid it might answer me
  • Shurrup  and make us a cuppa will ye
  • Cup of tea and sympathy coming up love
  • I told you I don’t want sympathy, just a cup of bloody tea Jimmy
  • … and two solpadeine?
  • Yes please

Ouch , I’m never drinking again…’til the next time of course

Satisfaction

dancing-7

Well, the wedding was absolutely brilliant. The bride was beautiful. The service was beautiful. The meal was beautiful…It was all BEAUTIFUL.

Bridget  and the brides granny were the only ones wearing hats. The granny said she wasn’t going near a church without her head covered, I don’t know what Bridgies excuse was but I think Marie forgot to tell her about the no hat rule. She’s such a dozy wagon, I almost felt sorry for her.( ALMOST, I said)

Me and Jules met for coffee and wedding post mortem the next morning in the Hotel lounge…

  • Great wedding Bernie wasn’t it and didn’t Sabrina look gorgeous
  • Gorgeous Julie. Her dress was fabulous wasn’t it
  • Out of this world it was Bernie, and Marie looked stunning
  • The men weren’t too bad either Jules
  • Very handsome indeed, but sure didn’t we all look great
  • Ah it’s lovely to have a day out and get all dolled up in our glad rags
  • Poor Bridgie all the same
  • Why poor Bridgie
  • Wearing that hat. Jaysis, the state of it
  • Serves her right trying to show off
  • Her and granny Byrne were bezzies all day
  • Ha, scarlet for her. Did you hear her telling Bridgie that  it was the likes of them that need to show the younger ones how to behave in church
  • Ha yeah, scarleh for her. ‘Those young ones have no decorum Bridget. Not like us’. God bless Granny Byrne, she’s a diamond.
  • …and she sure can dance. Did you see her doing the macarana with uncle Pat and all the kids at the reception
  • Fair play to her, she’s got the moves alright. She must be knackered today, the last I saw of her, she was leading a conga line through the bar on the way to bed at two o’clock this morning
  • She’s not the only one knackered, jaysis me feet are in ribbons
  • Well you hardly sat down all night, except to take a swig of your drink
  • You were as bad, Dirty dancing all night with Raymondo, you almost outshone Sabrina and Josh doing their gangnam style
  • Ah me and Ray always loved dancing
  • Ah I love an aul bop Jules. The band were so good I could have danced all night
  • Ye did dance all night Ber, I saw ye, and so did Bridgie; doin’ the fandango with her Nigel
  • Ah we were only havin’ the craic. He’s not a bad mover himself. Did you know he was a champion Irish dancer
  • Are you serious?
  • Ye, Bridget said he could have toured with River Dance
  • Her very own Michael Flatly wha’, and you with Jimmy Flatfeet
  • Fuck off Julie, Jimmy hasn’t got flat feet
  • No, just two left ones Ber
  • Nidge said Bridgie is not much of a dancer either
  • Sure look who he’s tellin’ Bernie
  • ‘No need to tell me love’ ses I, sure wasn’t I there when she fell on her arse trying to do Saturday night Fever at your wedding Jules
  • Ah jaysis remember that Ber. Poor Bridget
  • It just wasn’t her day was it
  • Well no, she falls on her arse in front of everyone and has to sit down for the rest of the night and then she gets to watch you dance to ‘More than a woman’ with her boyfriend, who you end up marrying, so I’m guessing it wasn’t the best day of her life
  • No wonder she hates me
  • Ah she doesn’t anymore. She’s mellowed since she married Nigel
  • Nigel is nice
  • Ray says he’s a banker
  • Ah I think he’s lovely
  • No, he’s a banker, like he works in the bank
  • Oh right, ha. Bridget will love that
  • Being married to a banker, she’ll be in her element
  • He’ll know how to behave when he’s in company you mean
  • Aww but did you see the face on her when he wrapped his tie around his head and did his Mick Jagger impression
  • Ah stop Julie, I nearly wet meself. She was mortified
  • ‘Noygelll, put your tie on there’s a dear’
  • I cant get noooooo…
  • …satissfaccctionnnnn
  • Go on the Nidgeee
  • Ah she went mad when you kept calling him Nidge Bernie
  • I know, why do you think I kept it up all day. Ah God love him, he was palatic by the end of the night
  • Not the only one. The state of our two with their air guitars
  • Jimmy and Ray, the Sultans of swing….jaysis help us
  • Ah hilarious Jules…’de boyz are back in towwwwn’
  • They really enjoyed themselves didn’t they
  • Ah Jimmy had a ball anyway…and we did have the last dance together
  • Yeah, I saw you two smooching. Ah he never lost it our Jimmy
  • My very own Tony Manero  haha
  • John Travolta eat your heart out, no sign of two left feet last night Ber. You’re teaching him well
  • Ah Jimmy loves nothing better than a good knees up with the family. It’s the only time I can get him on the dance floor. Sure listen, they’re at it again in the bar already
  • I knew I heard someone singing…for fuck sake, they’re not long after their breakfast
  • They never bleedin’ have enough
  • I saw Jimmy chatting to Bridgie at breakfast. He couldn’t get away from her, she had him pinned to the buffet
  • Probably telling him to keep his wife away from her husband
  • Well do you blame her Ber…I mean you do have form
  • Fuck off, I’m a happily married woman
  • Happily married to her ex
  • They were only dating for five minutes for fuck sake. I’ve had longer relationships with a bag of chips
  • Imagine she could have been my sister in law…jaysis
  • Ah you know she hadn’t a hope in hell once he met me Jules
  • True Bernie, Jimmy only ever had eyes for you
  • Ah bless him, he’s not a bad aul skin all the same
  • Get away out of that, you’re still mad about him too
  • Ah I am Julie, after all these years, I still am
  • Loves young dream
  • Not so young anymore, jaysis me bones are aching all over after all that dancing last night, and me feet are in bits
  • Mine too, I’ll never wear them shoes again. I’m getting too old for 6 inch heels Ber
  • Stop that we’ll never be too old for 6 inch heels
  • You’re right, sure we’ll probably have six inch heels on our zimmerframes when we’re ninety
  • If we reach ninety with the state of our livers
  • Speaking of which…d’ye fancy the hair of the dog Ber?
  • Does a bear shit in the woods Jules?
  • Come on, we may as well join them in the bar
  • …I can’t get noooooo
  • …Satisfactionnnnnnn

But I try…and I try  🙂

Meet n Greet Time!!

Great idea to meet fellow bloggers 🙂

Dream Big, Dream Often

Per our usual agreement, here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post and/or in the comments of these MnG links: Meet n Greet from 7/12  and Meet n Greet from 7/31
  2. That means there are 3, three, opportunities to connect.  This new comment thread and the threads from 7/12 and 7/31.  If you have not left a link in all 3 please be sure to do so as this means more exposure for your page!!!
  3. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!  So don’t be selfish, hit the reblog button.
  4. Edit your reblog post and add tags (i.e. reblogging, reblog, community, meet n greet, link party, etc.), it helps, trust me on this one.
  5. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter…

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Blog/Link Party

Great idea…hi everyone 🙂

Dream Big, Dream Often

Pass along this link for the Meet n Greet. The more people see the more participants!!

Also, click this link, In Need of Reblogging Material, and I will reblog one of your posts. I am happy that so many have enjoyed this experience as it has brought me so much pleasure knowing it has helped bring exposure to those writers that needed views and follows.

Happy Monday everyone!

Danny

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Karma

I met Bridgie in House of Fraser this morning buying a hat for a wedding…the same wedding I’m going to in August. Am I forever destined to bump into her at weddings? She’s still an aul wagon and she hasn’t forgiven me for ‘stealing’ her Jimmy. The bleedin’ cheek of her…and I was so looking forward to the day out. We’d better not be sitting at the same table! I thought I’d repost this to cheer meself up. 🙂

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

K

Some people say karma is a bitch but I like her, she’s always been good to me; Especially where Bridget Campion is concerned.I should have recognised her straight away. she was always a skinny bitch in school, and a wagon to me. She thought she was better than the rest of us just because her Da had his own shop and she always had crisps and sweets for her lunch when the rest of us had to make do with the corned beef or cheese sandwiches and a bottle of milk provided by the school.When I was fourteen I was going out with a fella called Joey Flynn. Well when I say going out I mean we walked home from school together sometimes and we went to the pictures once or twice and had a snog in the back row. Bridget fancied Joey and was mad jealous that I was…

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