• What were you doing in my knicker drawer by the way?
• What?
• You said you saw my Bisto tin in my knicker drawer.
• I was packing a bag for you.
• Because you found my running away money?
• No, because you were in hospital having the twins and you asked me to bring in more underwear.
• Oh right.
• Why do you think I was in your knicker drawer?
• I don’t know.
• Are you trying to insinuate something Bernie?
• Calm down Jimmy, I know you’re not a cross dresser, and if you were, sure my knickers wouldn’t fit you.
•  Not the ones you wore back then Bernie, they wouldn’t have fit the Michelin man.
• Fuck off, you’ve some cheek. I’d just carried two of your children for eight and a half months, I was hardly going to be wearing lacy thongs.
• I was only joking Bernie, stop being so sensitive.
• You weren’t joking, you were saying I was fat.
• I just said your knickers were a bit on the big side.
• Well so were your jox. At least I had a reason for being fat. I was pregnant; what was your excuse?
• Ah you’re getting personal now Bernie.
• It hurts doesn’t it Jimmy?

That’ll teach him…cheeky bastard