So the entire house was struck down with this winter flu bug. Christmas came and went in a fog of coughs and fevers . It’s like it never even happened. The Christmas tree only came down yesterday and I feel like Santa hasn’t even arrived yet. Today was my first day out. I was going stir crazy in the house so I walked to Spar to get some more Lemsips. Madonna O’Reilly’s daughter was serving behind the counter
- Ah hello Mrs. Violet, how are you?
- There y’are Mandy. I didn’t know you worked here
- I only started last week. Me ma knows the owner, she got me in ’cause I wasn’t arsed going back to school
- How is Mad Mary?
- Your ma…Our Kylie always called her Mad Mary
- MADonna Mary…
- Oh yeah, ha good one Mrs. Violet. Me da just calls her Donna, but yeah you’re right she is a bit mad alright. So, what can I get for you?
- A large packet of Lemsips please. We’re all at the tail end of that Aussie flu
- You do look a bit rough alright
- Thanks Mandy
- Ah you usually look fab, it’s that flu, it’s killing us
- Tell me about it. I feel as if I’ve done ten rounds with Conor McGregor
- Everyone seems to have caught it. They’re dropping like flies up me mas estate, and you know I don’t think any of them have been to Australia recently. Me ma thinks it’s in the water
- Is that right?
- Why do we always get other countries diseases ?
- What do you mean?
- Well last year it was Hong Kong flu. This year it’s Australian flu. I hope they find a cure for it, not like that man flu. My granny says that’s incurable, isn’t that shocking?
- Nothing shocks me anymore Mandy
- You know,when I was small I had German measles. My ma said she’s never been to Germany in her life. She doesn’t know how I picked it up
- Then there’s that Impetigo
- That’s a skin rash Mand
- Yeah from Impitego…that’s in Brazil or one of them countries isn’t it?
- Did you say you weren’t going back to school love?
- Yeah, sure I was learning nothing.
- You don’t say?
- School of life for me now Mrs. V. Just like me ma
- Are you a natural blonde like your ma aswell Mandy?
- I am, why do you ask?
- Oh no reason
- Well to be fair me ma does have a few highlights
- What are they Mandy…A few vodkas and karaoke of a Saturday night?…haha
- No, she has highlights in her hair I meant
- Oh I know what you meant. Here…give us a packet of paracetamol with them Lemsips please
- Aw have you got a headache Mrs. V?
- I’m getting one Mandy…I’m getting one
Did you ever wish you’d just stayed in bed?
6 thoughts on “No cure for stupid…Aussie Rules”
Sorry to hear you’ve all been ill, i hope you are well on your way to being fit as a fiddle.
That conversation was worth getting up for, you could turn it into a stand-up comedy routine!
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Thanks Mimi..I’m getting there. Running ragged after the rest of them. jaysis you’d be worn out…
Thank you for making smile this sunny morning..hope you are all feeling better now…That flu is a bummer isn’t it?
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Everyone seems to have it. Really knocked us for six 🤢
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Hope you get well soon. But that’s what foreigners are for isn’t it? Blame them for all the ills ( pun intended). But that young girl seemed smart all right. Too bad she dropped out of school
She’s a dozy wagon like her aul one 😜