- Ah howya Bernie
- Ah howya Eilo, long time no see..
- Where are you off to?
- Just walkin’ up to Tesco to buy a bit of lunch
- Ah feck that, come on over and join me for a cappuccino
- Get you being all continental on the side of the road
- Ah sure if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain and all that Berno, ye know yerself
- I’m assumin’ Bart is gone to France for the Euros then?
- He is, jammy fecker went last night. He couldn’t get the time off work for the first match
- Jimmy and the lads went on Monday morning.They were up half the night partyin’ with the Swedes after the match
- Jaysis, can you imagine what they’d be like if they won?
- I know. There’d be no stoppin’ them
- Sure he was only gone and he was ringin’ me from the airport
- Ah, loves young dream. Was he missin’ ye already
- He was in his swiss. He only rang to see if he left his vuvuzela on the kitchen table
- Ah jaysis, too much information Eilo
- Shurrup ye durtburd Bernie. It’s a horn
- Still too much information Eilo. What did he want you to do, post it over to him?
- No, he just wanted to moan about it. He’s not happy til he has a bit of a moan in the mornin’ and sure the lads won’t listen to him. Anyway, I brought his horn down the pub last night. A gang of us went to watch the match.
- So you were blowin’ Barts horn down the pub
- Too right Berno, Sure we all had a go of Barts horn
- I’m sure he’ll be delighted.
- He’ll be ragin’. The big gobshite. Somethin’ else for him to moan about
- Have you heard how they’re gettin’ on? Apart from him missin’ his horn like.
- Eating breakfast in some sidewalk café in Bordeaux no doubt. I wouldn’t be able for him.
- ..and you havin’ to dine al fresco in Inchicore
- Not for much longer Ber. Look at them clouds.
- Summer me arse. I wouldn’t mind a few days in France meself
- Ah come on I’ll buy ye a baguette to cheer you up
- Get you. It’s far from baguettes you were reared Eilo Farrell
- Excuse me, I’ve been to Lourdes twice with the ladies club
- Ye, I remember the last time you came home on crutches
- Ah scarlet for meself. I fell off a table singing Karaoke at the Hotel
- You’re mad. Come on inside, it’s goin’ to lash down. D’ye want a cappuccino or a latte?
- Ah no fuck it, just get us a can of lilt Ber. I’m parchin’
- You’re just so typically tropical Eilo
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 
Is Eilo available for parties, Bernie?
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Eilo is available for everything Tara. Sure she’d go to the opening of a would just to get an audience 😉
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