Al Fresco or Tescos?

al fresco 1

  • Ah howya Bernie
  • Ah howya Eilo, long time no see..
  • Where are you off to?
  • Just walkin’ up to Tesco to buy a bit of lunch
  • Ah feck that, come on over and join me for a cappuccino
  • Get you being all continental on the side of the road
  • Ah sure if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain and all that Berno, ye know yerself
  • I’m assumin’ Bart is gone to France for the Euros then?
  • He is, jammy fecker went last night. He couldn’t get the time off work for the first match
  • Jimmy and the lads went on Monday morning.They were up half the night partyin’ with the Swedes after the match
  • Jaysis, can you imagine what they’d be like if they won?
  • I know. There’d be no stoppin’ them
  • Sure he was only gone and he was ringin’ me from the airport
  • Ah, loves young dream. Was he missin’ ye already
  • He was in his swiss. He only rang to see if he left his vuvuzela on the kitchen table
  • Ah jaysis, too much information Eilo
  • Shurrup ye durtburd Bernie. It’s a horn
  • Still too much information Eilo. What did he want you to do, post it over to him?
  • No, he just wanted to moan about it. He’s not happy til he has a bit of a moan in the mornin’ and sure the lads won’t listen to him. Anyway, I brought his horn down the pub last night. A gang of us went to watch the match.
  • So you were blowin’ Barts horn down the pub
  • Too right Berno, Sure we all had a go of Barts horn
  • I’m sure he’ll be delighted.
  • He’ll be ragin’. The big gobshite. Somethin’ else for him to moan about
  • Have you heard how they’re gettin’ on? Apart from him missin’ his horn like.
  •  Eating breakfast in some sidewalk café  in Bordeaux no doubt. I wouldn’t be able for him.
  • ..and you havin’ to dine al fresco in Inchicore
  • Not for much longer Ber. Look at them clouds.
  • Summer me arse. I wouldn’t mind a few days in France meself
  • Ah come on I’ll buy ye a baguette to cheer you up
  • Get you. It’s far from baguettes you were reared Eilo Farrell
  • Excuse me, I’ve been to Lourdes twice with the ladies club
  • Ye, I remember the last time you came home on crutches
  • Ah scarlet for meself.  I fell off a table singing Karaoke at the Hotel
  • You’re mad. Come on inside, it’s goin’ to lash down. D’ye want a cappuccino or a latte?
  • Ah no fuck it, just get us a can of lilt Ber. I’m parchin’
  • You’re just so typically tropical Eilo

 

 

Lyon Eyes

L (1)

  • Don’t you  be gettin’ rat arsed every night when you’re in Paris Jimmy
  • We’re not only  goin’ to Paris. We’ll be goin’ to Bordeaux, Nice,Toulouse..
  • Footloose in Toulouse, you’d better behave yerself James Violet
  • I always behave meself…and anyway what happens in Lyon, stays in Lyon
  • Have you somethin’ to hide Jimmy?
  • Like you and your mates last month in Liverpool ?
  • We had a very quiet weekend
  • I saw de photos Bernie
  • Where?
  • Kylie showed me on Facebook
  • She’s such a rat. Wait ’til I see her.
  • With male strippers and pole dancing?
  • That was for her friends hens party, nothin’ to do with me
  • Right, whatever you say love
  • Do I look like I’d be bothered with strippers?
  • I’m sayin’ nothin’
  • Good
  • Scarleh for ye Ber
  • Fuck off to Paris will ye Jimmy
  • You can’t hide your Lyon eyes

Men!

 

 

 

Jimmy Riddle

J (1)

  • Have ye seen me passport Bernie?
  • Yeah
  • Where is it
  • I dunno
  • Ye just said ye seen it
  • I did, loads of times, awful lookin’ photo too Jimmy
  • You’re bleedin’ hilarious Ber
  • What d’ye want it for?
  • I’m bookin’ me tickets to Paris
  • I still can’t believe you’re goin’ to Paris without me
  • It’s for de football Ber
  • But Paris is our place Jimmy
  • It’s the Euros Ber, and anyway, you hate football
  • I could’ve gone shoppin’ while you were at the matches
  • Would you feck off Bernie
  • Ah I’m only messin’ with ye Jimmy
  • Anyway you’ll be at your Spa
  • Health farm Jimmy
  • Whatever. Seriously Ber, have ye no idea where me passport  is?
  • I haven’t a breeze Jimmy
  •  I’ve searched the house and can’t find it. It’s a mystery Ber
  • Would ye not call it a Jimmy Riddle love?
  • Dat’s slang for a piddle Bernie
  • Well, you’ll be wettin’yerself if ye don’t find it
  • I’ll have to apply for an emergency one Ber
  • …ah sure you can always come  with me and Julie and Ger
  • Feck off. I’m not goin’ to a Spa with a gang of women
  • It’s a bleedin’ health farm and we wouldn’t want ye inannyway. Ye can stay at home on yer own for all I care
  • Dat’s harsh Bernie. Ye know I can’t miss de Euros
  • Calm down will ye for fuck sake. Come on, I’ll help ye look for de bleedin’ passport

He’s worse than a child sometimes!

irishpassport