Russian Roulette

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Jimmy is very down in the dumps since Ireland were beaten by Denmark on Tuesday night. His world cup dream trip to Russia is not to be and he’s not at all pleased…

  • Cancel that Credit Union loan will you Bernie
  • Why?
  • Well, Russia is off now isn’t it
  • Shocking result Jimmy
  • Not really, even me granny lighting a candle wasn’t going to win that match for us
  • Sad all the same but sure we’ll take the loan anyway
  • But what’s the point Bernie?
  • I’d like to go somewhere next year
  • Like where?
  • Anywhere Jimmy; Spain, Portugal, Greece, the Bahamas. A couple of weeks in the sun would be lovely
  • Ah Bernie, you know I hate that two weeks in the sun shite
  • Eh hello…you didn’t say that when you fecked off to France for the Euros last year
  • That was different
  • It’s always different with you isn’t it? And how long were you planning on staying in Russia?
  • That wasn’t a holiday
  • Well what the fuck was it if it wasn’t a holiday?
  • It’s more of a pilgrimage Bernie
  • Lourdes is a pilgrimage; Medjugorge  is a pilgrimage…Russia for the world cup is not a bleedin’ pilgrimage. It’s a piss up every night with your mates while you trail around the country after a football team
  • It’s called supporting your country Bernie
  • It’s called taking liberties Jimmy, and what about supporting your wife?
  • I do support my wife. When did I ever leave you short?
  • I’m not talking about money Jimmy as well you know
  • Well we didn’t get through, Russia is off so there’s no point going on about it
  • All I said was, lets go on a holiday together seeing as you won’t be going to Russia
  • I’ll think about it
  • You’ll think about it? Is that what you said to your mates when they were planning the world cup trip? ‘I’ll think about it?’
  • What was there to think about Bernie?
  • Yeah too right, you were on to Trip Adviser checking flights to Moscow and Vladivostok before Ireland even qualified
  •  Vladivostok?
  • Yeah, that’s in Russia … isn’t it?
  • Yeah but none of the football venues are there
  • Look Jimmy I’m not an expert on Russian geography or football venues, but I do know where there’s a lovely hotel on the beach in Lanzarote , now are we going to go or not?
  • Do I have a choice?
  • I’m not holding a gun to your head Jimmy
  • Oh go on so…anywhere but Russia …or Denmark
  •  I’ll just go check Trip Adviser
  • You don’t waste any time do you?
  • Wasting time is robbing oneself
  • What?
  • Old Russian proverb Jimmy
  • I have an Irish one for you
  • What?
  • As much as I may drink tonight I will still be thirsty tomorrow
  • You’re off to the pub then?
  • Got it in one Bernie
  • I might join you later for a black russian

Every cloud does have a silver ling but doesn’t it?  😉

 

 

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Al Fresco or Tescos?

al fresco 1

  • Ah howya Bernie
  • Ah howya Eilo, long time no see..
  • Where are you off to?
  • Just walkin’ up to Tesco to buy a bit of lunch
  • Ah feck that, come on over and join me for a cappuccino
  • Get you being all continental on the side of the road
  • Ah sure if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain and all that Berno, ye know yerself
  • I’m assumin’ Bart is gone to France for the Euros then?
  • He is, jammy fecker went last night. He couldn’t get the time off work for the first match
  • Jimmy and the lads went on Monday morning.They were up half the night partyin’ with the Swedes after the match
  • Jaysis, can you imagine what they’d be like if they won?
  • I know. There’d be no stoppin’ them
  • Sure he was only gone and he was ringin’ me from the airport
  • Ah, loves young dream. Was he missin’ ye already
  • He was in his swiss. He only rang to see if he left his vuvuzela on the kitchen table
  • Ah jaysis, too much information Eilo
  • Shurrup ye durtburd Bernie. It’s a horn
  • Still too much information Eilo. What did he want you to do, post it over to him?
  • No, he just wanted to moan about it. He’s not happy til he has a bit of a moan in the mornin’ and sure the lads won’t listen to him. Anyway, I brought his horn down the pub last night. A gang of us went to watch the match.
  • So you were blowin’ Barts horn down the pub
  • Too right Berno, Sure we all had a go of Barts horn
  • I’m sure he’ll be delighted.
  • He’ll be ragin’. The big gobshite. Somethin’ else for him to moan about
  • Have you heard how they’re gettin’ on? Apart from him missin’ his horn like.
  •  Eating breakfast in some sidewalk café  in Bordeaux no doubt. I wouldn’t be able for him.
  • ..and you havin’ to dine al fresco in Inchicore
  • Not for much longer Ber. Look at them clouds.
  • Summer me arse. I wouldn’t mind a few days in France meself
  • Ah come on I’ll buy ye a baguette to cheer you up
  • Get you. It’s far from baguettes you were reared Eilo Farrell
  • Excuse me, I’ve been to Lourdes twice with the ladies club
  • Ye, I remember the last time you came home on crutches
  • Ah scarlet for meself.  I fell off a table singing Karaoke at the Hotel
  • You’re mad. Come on inside, it’s goin’ to lash down. D’ye want a cappuccino or a latte?
  • Ah no fuck it, just get us a can of lilt Ber. I’m parchin’
  • You’re just so typically tropical Eilo