You’ve gotta have friends #AprilAtoZ

Y2020

Sooooo, I had a great chat with Julie last night. I had no xanax or wine, and I slept grand. You just can’t beat a long chat and a few laughs with your friends to cheer you up. I felt like a new loo this morning, then, Kylie came down and started winding me up…

  • So, have you got over yourself this morning then?
  • Excuse me?
  • You were on a mad one last night looking for drugs.
  • I wasn’t looking for drugs, I was looking for a little relaxer.
  • Drugs.
  • Shut up you and go back to your pit.
  • It’s 12.30.
  • 12.30 is the middle of the night for you and Koko.
  • You’re always moaning at me to get up early, and now I’m up you’re telling me to go back to bed. Make up your mind will you.
  • This isn’t early. It’s lunchtime.
  • Would you listen to yourself? You’re up before noon for the first time in weeks and all of a sudden you’re Kris Jenner.
  • Don’t exaggerate.
  • Next you’ll be doing cardio workouts at sunrise.
  • That’s not a bad idea actually.
  • Leave it out ma. The last time you saw the sunrise, you were on your way to bed.
  • Well, I’m thinking of changing my lifestyle. Since my brush with death…
  • Oh here we go again “I had the corona virus you know” I swear to god you’re getting more like me nanny every day.
  • That’s harsh.
  • It’s also true.
  • I’ve told your da to get my treadmill out of the garage.
  • I thought you sold that in the car boot sale?
  • Oh yeah. I was wondering what was taking him so long out there.
  • You’ll just have to do it old school.
  • What?
  • Get your runners on and go outside.
  • It’s freezing cold out, and it’s raining, and I’m not allowed go outside the 2 kilometre limit.
  • As if you’d get as far as 2 kilometre. Don’t make me laugh.
  • You’re no Gwyneth Paltrow yourself, Kylie.
  • I’m not the one who said I was changing my lifestyle,ma.
  • No fear of that, but you and Koko would want to start getting a bit of exercise, and cut down on the booze.
  • Now, you sound like me da. So you’re off the drink now are you?
  • I never said that.
  • I thought not. I heard you talking to Julie last night. “Sometimes you just need to go out and get shitfaced”.
  • You shouldn’t be ear wigging on my private conversations.
  • I wasn’t ear wigging, I could hear you from the attic, and Julie was just as loud.”If we can’t go out and get shit faced, let’s stay in and get shit faced”.
  • We’ve organised a Zoom party with the girls tonight.
  • Oh good luck with that change of lifestyle.
  • Don’t be a smart arse.
  • I’ve seen you and your mates when you get together. You put the real housewives of Beverly Hills to shame.
  • Yeah, they are lightweights.
  • Which of them said “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution”.
  • That would be me.
  • I’m delighted you’re back to yourself ma, now, I’m going back to bed, so I’ll see you tomorrow.
  • Oh, are you getting up early again?
  • I’ll probably pass you on the stairs on your way up.

She may be right…

12 thoughts on “You’ve gotta have friends #AprilAtoZ

  1. I’m so glad I read Jade’s reflection post and found you. This was so funny. Need to get some more of your humour– will read my way through your A to Z this month. Jade’s review was spot on.

    Liked by 1 person

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