Home Alone #AtoZ2020


Maisie has been cocooning alone for weeks. We did a drive by on Mothers day.

  • Stay where you are.You can’t come in.
  • I know ma, we just came to say hello. I brought some flowers and chocolates for you.
  • Are you wearing gloves? Where’s your mask?
  • I don’t need a mask, and yes I have gloves on.
  • Well, just leave them on the doorstep. I’ll spray them down later.
  • You don’t need to spray them down.
  • They could be covered in corona.
  • Don’t be ridiculous.
  • I’m not being ridiculous, are you trying to kill me?
  • No one is trying to kill you, ma. I’ll give them a wipe with the hand sanitizer.
  • I’ll spray them down anyway, you can’t be too careful.
  • There’s cards and presents there from the girls as well.
  • Aren’t they very good thinking of their nanny in isolation.
  • So, have you had anymore visitors today.
  • Whitney walked over with the baby this morning. She brought a lovely card and a box of Maltesers for me.
  • Ah that was nice of her. Isn’t Beyoncé getting really big?
  • She’s a little beauty. She has the look of me when I was her age.
  • That’s nice, ma.
  • The others will probably pop by later.
  • So, any sign of Bernard?
  • No, he said he can’t call, because he’s cocooning.
  • He’s only fifty two ma, what’s he cocooning for?
  • Breda says they’re vulnerable.
  • Vulnerable is not a word I’d ever associate with Breda, she’s just using this for an excuse to keep Bernard home.
  • She’s a bit possessive alright, but at least he rings me every night.
  • Oh, she allows him use the phone, that’s good of her.
  • Let’s not get into a discussion about your brother, Bernie.
  • No, ma. Let’s not.
  • So, tell me all your news. How’s everyone at home? How are you coping?
  • We’re all grand ma, Jimmy said…
  • Oh my god I don’t believe it.
  • What?
  • Here he comes round the corner now.
  • Jimmy?
  • Bernard; He said he wasn’t coming.
  • Wonders will never cease, ma.
  • You’d better head on now, Bernie.
  • I just got here ma.
  • You need to social distance.
  • Oh right, St. Bernard has arrived so I have to piss off.
  • Don’t be like that. Let Bernard park there near the window, so we can have a proper chat.
  • Right so, ma. I’ll ring you tomorrow.
  • Cooooeeee, Bernard. Hello love, it’s great to see you. You’re an awful divil altogether, pretending you couldn’t come see your mammy today.

All hail St. Bernard, I didn’t hear her asking him where his mask was.

8 thoughts on “Home Alone #AtoZ2020

  1. Your mom is sounding more and more like my mom every day. It’s not my brother though, it’s my youngest sibling and only sister. She can walk on water and I’m chopped liver.


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