Mothers Day, and the girls were cooking dinner so I decided to make a few cocktails to cheer me up.. I needed it after that trip to Maisie’s. Imagine being told to move on to let that gobshite Bernard park nearer to the window…
- Kylie, ask your da does he want a mojito.
- He said no, he wouldn’t drink that shite.
- Ask him what does he want, apart from a slap in the head.
- He said he’ll have a pint.
- Is he still pining for the pub. Tell him to get a grip.
- Ah ma, he’s just fed up since he had to stop work.
- We’re all fed up; it’s not all about him you know.
- Well, he’s used to keeping busy.
- I’ve loads here to keep him busy but he’d rather sit there moaning at the telly and getting on my nerves.
- Ah bless him, you know he loves a good moan.
- He could moan while he’s doing a bit of DIY.
- Will I ask him would he like a baby Guinness?
- No, he can feck off. Here, give him that, it might remind him to fix that kitchen cupboard.
- What is it?
- A screwdriver.
Maybe it’s a baby Guinness he wants. Fuck sake.Mothers day indeed.