Maisie is still on her hobby horse; moaning about me going to Benidorm. She rang me when she heard Breda was sick.

• You just wouldn’t listen to me would you?
• I tried my best
• What?
• I said you always know best, ma.
• Now look at you in isolation.
• I’m not the only one in isolation.
• No, you and all your Benidorm buddies.
• Let it rest ma will you.
• You thought you’d never get on that plane.
• Oh for God’s sake ma, will you leave it out. I’m sick listening to you and Jimmy going on about it. I went, I enjoyed myself, I came home. End of story.
• It could have been end of story for you alright, Bernie. There’s thousands dying over there, then you fly back and bring the virus with you.
• I didn’t bring the virus home with me.
• Well your friend Breda did.
• We don’t even know if she has it, ma.
• I heard she’s dying.
• Well, you heard wrong, she’s getting better everyday, now stop it with your rumour mongering.
• I hope I don’t get if from you.
• I don’t have it, and anyway I haven’t seen you in two weeks ma.
• You were here the day before you flew off.
• You just said I brought it back with me, make your mind up will you.
• Don’t start getting in a mood with me, Bernie.
• Well, stop blaming me on the whole pandemic.
• There’s no talking to you when you’re like this.
• Bye so.
• I have to go anyway. My neighbourhood watch watsapp is beeping like mad. I hope it’s not bad news.
• Don’t let me keep you.
• Ring me when you’re in a better mood, Bernie.
• How does September suit?

She hung up on me!