Talking to myself

T

Sometimes, you’re the only one who’ll listen…

 

  • Morning Bernie
  • Alright Bernadette
  • How’s things?
  • Grand
  • Any news?
  • Nothing? You?
  • You don’t look the best Bernie
  • You’re not looking too hot yourself Ber
  • I’m knackered to be honest
  • I know how you feel, it’s this bloody…
  • …diet
  • Ah I’m sick of it now
  • Me too. All I can think of is food
  • …and how to get out of excercising
  • Why do you put yourself through it Bernie?
  • Fucked if I know Ber…all this shite just to get into a swimsuit for a week in Toremolinos
  • We can’t give up but, not while everyone is watching
  • ”We know you can do it Bernie” ”You’re doing great Bernie”
  • …while they stuff their faces in front of you
  • Fuckers
  • Yeah…fuckers
  • You don’t have to tell them you’ve given up
  • They’ll know, they watch every bit you put into your mouth
  • ”There goes your diet Bernie…I knew you wouldn’t stick it Bernie” I can hear them now
  • People only believe what they see…and they don’t have to see everything
  • No they don’t, do they?
  • Oh look it’s breakfast time? What are we having today Bernie? Muesli? Quinoa porridge? kitty litter on toast?
  • I fancy a dirty big rasher sandwich on white bread
  • Lovely…with ketchup
  • And a large mug of tea
  • Good woman
  • Diet my arse Bernie
  • Your arse is grand Bernie
  • Yeah it is isn’t it…one rasher or two?

Lovely

rasher sandwich

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Talking to myself

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