Elvis… Always on my mind

Me and Lynn went to an Elvis tribute night down the pub last night. They were celebrating the 40th anniversary of his death. Forty years!! Can you believe it?



  • Where were you when Elvis died Bernie?
  • You mean the exact minute he died or when I heard he died?
  • When you heard he died of course…how would you know the exact minute he died unless you were there in the bathroom with him.
  • That is if he really died in the bathroom Lynn.That could just be a story, a cover up for what really happened.
  • Why would they say he died in the bathroom if he didn’t? You’ve a very’ suspicious mind’ Bernie
  • You know them Americans all love a good story, a crazy headline. ‘Elvis dies watching telly’ doesn’t’ have the same impact as ‘Elvis dies on the jax eating a burger’
  •  I don’t think they said he did eating a burger. I think they said he’d eaten a burger before he died.
  • Well they were hardly going to say he’d eaten a salad with cous cous and a glass of still water were they?
  •  I don’t think Elvis was much of a salad eater
  • Neither is that chap onstage by the look of him
  • He’s a big chap alright
  •  ‘The King is dead’ isn’t that what they said?
  •  I can’t remember but that is a good headline. Click bait…isn’t that what they’d call it now?
  • If it was today, it would be on twitter with a picture of the burger before the ambulance arrived
  • There’s not much privacy these days is there Bern?
  • I was in me grannies having a bowl of cornflakes
  • What?
  • ‘…When Elvis died. You asked me where I was when Elvis died.  I was staying in me grannies with Imelda when me ma was in hospital having our Aaron
  • Did your ma call him Aaron after Elvis because it was his middle name and he was born the day Elvis died?
  • No she called him Elvis after Elvis, but he was slagged in school over it so he told everyone his name was Aaron
  • So is his middle name Aaron too?
  • No, it’s  Bartley …after me granda. Aaron is his third name
  • Elvis Bartley Aaron?
  • Yeah,shite isn’t it? Scarlet for him. He reckoned Aaron was better than Bartley
  • I don’t blame him
  • Me granda wasn’t too please but
  • Who the fuck calls their child Bartley?
  • My great granny, that’s who. Anyway, it was on the nine o’clock news that morning
  • What was?
  • About Elvis dying, for  jaysis sake Lynn, keep up will you
  • Sorry Bernie, I’m still thinking about poor Aaron
  • Me granny always listened to RTE radio in the mornings…The news and Gay Byrne, every morning. I couldn’t believe it.
  • I couldn’t believe people listened to Gay Byrne either
  • No, I couldn’t believe Elvis was dead, for fuck sake Lynn, how many vodkas have you had?
  • Not enough obviously, judging by this conversation
  • Me sister was bawling crying. Imelda loved Elvis. She had posters of him on our bedroom wall
  • I had Donny Osmond and David Cassidy
  •  I had T. Rex. You know Marc Bolan died exactly a month after Elvis?… in a car crash on the way home from a party in Rod Stewart’s gaff.
  •  That’s a real rock n roll way to die isn’t it? Elvis might have been the King but his death wasn’t very rock n roll was it?
  • He’d be eighty one if he was still alive
  • He wouldn’t be shaking his hips much on a zimmerframe at eighty one Bernie
  • Sure he’d have had new hips by now
  • And a few face lifts, trying to stay young like the rest of them
  • He’ll be forever young
  • Wearing his blue suede shoes
  • Some people say he never died…  Another cover up
  • Where is he then?
  • God only knows, living on some tropical island with Marc Bolan and Buddy Holly.
  • My ma loved Buddy Holly
  • Mine too. You know she wanted to call me Peggy Sue
  • Seriously? Yeah, but me da put his foot down, said no child of his was being called after his mother in law
  • You’re grannies name was Peggy Sue?
  • No, Margaret, but everyone called her Peggy
  • I need another drink Bernie
  • I’ll call the waitress… ”Excuse me love, two double vodkas and coke when you’re ready”… He was only twenty two, Lord rest him
  • Who?
  • Buddy fucking Holly. Do you want to go out and come back in Lynn, because you’re not with it tonight
  • Ask me hoop Bernie. I can’t keep up with all these dead celebs
  • You shouldn’t have come to an Elvis tribute show then
  • You’re just confusing me, anyway I thought he was older. He looked older but didn’t he?
  • Who Elvis?
  • No, Buddy Holly, jaysis, now who’s confused?
  •  I think it was the glasses.
  • He did really die though
  • I hope so…they buried him
  • You’re getting worse Bernie. Here, this Elvis chap is a long time on his break isn’t he?
  • Probably sent out for a burger. I hope he’s not eating it on the jax
  • I’m going to ask him to sing Blue Christmas when he comes back
  • It’s bleedin’ August Lynn!
  • He’s an Elvis tribute and I want to hear Blue Christmas
  • Whatever floats your boat love, anyway he died in a plane crash
  • I thought he died on the jax
  • Not Elvis; Buddy Holly ye big eejit
  • I told you to stop confusing me
  • So did Patsy Cline. Our Patsy is named after her
  • Are all your family named after famous dead people then?
  • Yeah, except me. I’m named after saint Bernadette
  • She’s dead
  • She wasn’t famous though…except in the catholic church I suppose
  • So many stars died too soon Bernie… Michael Jackson… Prince…Freddie Mercury
  • …Bob Marley…Jim Morrison..
  • David Bowie… I loved David Bowie
  •  Jimi Hendrix…
  • Amy Winehouse.
  • Karen Carpenter…. jaysis we’re very cheerful tonight aren’t we?
  • Marilyn
  • I thought Marilyn Manson was still alive?
  • No Marilyn Monroe
  • Hardly a rock star but
  • Oh I thought we were just talking about dead stars
  • We were talking about Elvis
  • Oh yeah
  • So where were YOU then?
  • When?
  • When Elvis died?
  • Fucked if I can remember Bernie, sure I was only five
  • You were in your swiss! I think we should just listen to the music and have ‘A little less conversation’ Lynn,yeah?
  • Here he is back onstage, throw your knickers at him Bernie, I dare you. ”G’WAN ELVIS … you aint nothin’ but a hound dog…”

I sometimes wonder how I’m still friends with this girl!



10 thoughts on “Elvis… Always on my mind

  1. For shame, talking like that! Everyone knows he’s not dead—he’s working at a Dunkin’ Donuts in North Dakota. He had a gig flippin’ burgers, but they had to fire him when he refused to wear a hair net.

    There’s pictures and everything, and they wrote about it in the Enquirer O.o

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He’s retired now, but occasionally entertains the residents in the local nursing home. He did get the hip replacements but no facelift. Him and Maisie are great bingo buddies since she shared a room with him after her noonie replacement op . He wasn’t impressed when she told him she was a big fan of Engelbert Humperdink. Elvis thinks Engelbert is a gobshite 🙄


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