Me and Lynn went to an Elvis tribute night down the pub last night. They were celebrating the 40th anniversary of his death. Forty years!! Can you believe it?
- Where were you when Elvis died Bernie?
- You mean the exact minute he died or when I heard he died?
- When you heard he died of course…how would you know the exact minute he died unless you were there in the bathroom with him.
- That is if he really died in the bathroom Lynn.That could just be a story, a cover up for what really happened.
- Why would they say he died in the bathroom if he didn’t? You’ve a very’ suspicious mind’ Bernie
- You know them Americans all love a good story, a crazy headline. ‘Elvis dies watching telly’ doesn’t’ have the same impact as ‘Elvis dies on the jax eating a burger’
- I don’t think they said he did eating a burger. I think they said he’d eaten a burger before he died.
- Well they were hardly going to say he’d eaten a salad with cous cous and a glass of still water were they?
- I don’t think Elvis was much of a salad eater
- Neither is that chap onstage by the look of him
- He’s a big chap alright
- ‘The King is dead’ isn’t that what they said?
- I can’t remember but that is a good headline. Click bait…isn’t that what they’d call it now?
- If it was today, it would be on twitter with a picture of the burger before the ambulance arrived
- There’s not much privacy these days is there Bern?
- I was in me grannies having a bowl of cornflakes
- What?
- ‘…When Elvis died. You asked me where I was when Elvis died. I was staying in me grannies with Imelda when me ma was in hospital having our Aaron
- Did your ma call him Aaron after Elvis because it was his middle name and he was born the day Elvis died?
- No she called him Elvis after Elvis, but he was slagged in school over it so he told everyone his name was Aaron
- So is his middle name Aaron too?
- No, it’s Bartley …after me granda. Aaron is his third name
- Elvis Bartley Aaron?
- Yeah,shite isn’t it? Scarlet for him. He reckoned Aaron was better than Bartley
- I don’t blame him
- Me granda wasn’t too please but
- Who the fuck calls their child Bartley?
- My great granny, that’s who. Anyway, it was on the nine o’clock news that morning
- What was?
- About Elvis dying, for jaysis sake Lynn, keep up will you
- Sorry Bernie, I’m still thinking about poor Aaron
- Me granny always listened to RTE radio in the mornings…The news and Gay Byrne, every morning. I couldn’t believe it.
- I couldn’t believe people listened to Gay Byrne either
- No, I couldn’t believe Elvis was dead, for fuck sake Lynn, how many vodkas have you had?
- Not enough obviously, judging by this conversation
- Me sister was bawling crying. Imelda loved Elvis. She had posters of him on our bedroom wall
- I had Donny Osmond and David Cassidy
- I had T. Rex. You know Marc Bolan died exactly a month after Elvis?… in a car crash on the way home from a party in Rod Stewart’s gaff.
- That’s a real rock n roll way to die isn’t it? Elvis might have been the King but his death wasn’t very rock n roll was it?
- He’d be eighty one if he was still alive
- He wouldn’t be shaking his hips much on a zimmerframe at eighty one Bernie
- Sure he’d have had new hips by now
- And a few face lifts, trying to stay young like the rest of them
- He’ll be forever young
- Wearing his blue suede shoes
- Some people say he never died… Another cover up
- Where is he then?
- God only knows, living on some tropical island with Marc Bolan and Buddy Holly.
- My ma loved Buddy Holly
- Mine too. You know she wanted to call me Peggy Sue
- Seriously? Yeah, but me da put his foot down, said no child of his was being called after his mother in law
- You’re grannies name was Peggy Sue?
- No, Margaret, but everyone called her Peggy
- I need another drink Bernie
- I’ll call the waitress… ”Excuse me love, two double vodkas and coke when you’re ready”… He was only twenty two, Lord rest him
- Who?
- Buddy fucking Holly. Do you want to go out and come back in Lynn, because you’re not with it tonight
- Ask me hoop Bernie. I can’t keep up with all these dead celebs
- You shouldn’t have come to an Elvis tribute show then
- You’re just confusing me, anyway I thought he was older. He looked older but didn’t he?
- Who Elvis?
- No, Buddy Holly, jaysis, now who’s confused?
- I think it was the glasses.
- He did really die though
- I hope so…they buried him
- You’re getting worse Bernie. Here, this Elvis chap is a long time on his break isn’t he?
- Probably sent out for a burger. I hope he’s not eating it on the jax
- I’m going to ask him to sing Blue Christmas when he comes back
- It’s bleedin’ August Lynn!
- He’s an Elvis tribute and I want to hear Blue Christmas
- Whatever floats your boat love, anyway he died in a plane crash
- I thought he died on the jax
- Not Elvis; Buddy Holly ye big eejit
- I told you to stop confusing me
- So did Patsy Cline. Our Patsy is named after her
- Are all your family named after famous dead people then?
- Yeah, except me. I’m named after saint Bernadette
- She’s dead
- She wasn’t famous though…except in the catholic church I suppose
- So many stars died too soon Bernie… Michael Jackson… Prince…Freddie Mercury
- …Bob Marley…Jim Morrison..
- David Bowie… I loved David Bowie
- Jimi Hendrix…
- Amy Winehouse.
- Karen Carpenter…. jaysis we’re very cheerful tonight aren’t we?
- Marilyn
- I thought Marilyn Manson was still alive?
- No Marilyn Monroe
- Hardly a rock star but
- Oh I thought we were just talking about dead stars
- We were talking about Elvis
- Oh yeah
- So where were YOU then?
- When?
- When Elvis died?
- Fucked if I can remember Bernie, sure I was only five
- You were in your swiss! I think we should just listen to the music and have ‘A little less conversation’ Lynn,yeah?
- Here he is back onstage, throw your knickers at him Bernie, I dare you. ”G’WAN ELVIS … you aint nothin’ but a hound dog…”
I sometimes wonder how I’m still friends with this girl!
