- Hello
- Good morning madame. This is visa international fraud office, Karen speaking. May I speak to you about your visa account.
- What about it?
- There has been some suspicious activity on your account this morning and I need to confirm some details with you to protect your account
- Suspicious in what way?
- A large transaction has been transferred to another account
- How large?
- Several thousand euro madame
- Wow. and where was this?
- Sumatra
- And where the fuck is Sumatra when it’s at home?
- It is in Indonesia madame
- I’ve never been, is it nice there?
- I’m sorry madame I am just here to help you with your Visa transactions
- I wonder if it’s near Nigeria. I sent a few million to a Nigerian prince there last week
- Excuse me?
- Ay yeah, he’s just down on his luck at the moment. Said he’d pay me back when his aul lads will comes through.
- I am ringing to discuss suspected fraudulent transactions on your Visa account, that is all
- So you’ve never been to Sumatra or Nigeria? Where are you from?
- I cannot discuss this madame but if you can bear with me…
- Who are you again?
- My name is Karen and as I said I am from Visa international fraud office
- You don’t sound like a Karen to me and I don’t have a Visa card love
- We also deal with MasterCard. You have MasterCard madame?
- You tell me Karen. You seem to know more about me than I do
- Madame please…
- Don’t even think about asking for my card number
- Did I ask you for that madame… DID I ASK YOU FOR A NUMBER?
- Don’t start getting ratty with me miss
- I am only trying to help you madame
- You most certainly can help me Karen
- Certainly madame. This is why I am here.
- You can help me by getting the fuck off my phone and never ringing me again MADAME
- …and fuck you too madame
- Lovely customer service Karen. You do realise you forgot to press the mute button there. Does Visa international know you talk to customers like that?
- Oh fuc…
- …You have a nice day now Kareeeen. Give my love to Prince Obafemi if you happen to bump into him Byeeeeeeeeee
I had a laugh over the phone with David from the actual Visa department about this, and I must say his customer service was impeccable, and no I didn’t any money to Prince Whatsisname. Do I look stupid? …Actually don’t answer that 😉
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 
Heeheehee! It can be fun to pull their chains a bit if you have the time.
We have a scam going over here where the first thing the person says when you answer your phone is, “Can you hear me?” They record you answering “Yes” and use that one recorded word to claim you agreed to sign up for a whole bunch of things they bill through your phone company. Makes me want to scream sometimes, horrible cheats.
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Gonna buy me a whistle for next time. I’ll deafen the fuckers 😉
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Love this. You handled it so well. I’ll certainly be taking a few lessons from you when I next get that phishing phone call.
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You have to be ready for the feckers 😜
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So I got this text from a number telling me that the Central Bank of Nigeria had blocked my debit card and that I had to call the number to get my card unblocked. I’m like, for starters, I have several debit cards so how come the text didn’t mention which of them and which of my accounts. Also, sure, I live in Nigeria but banks block cards and would send you an email and a text message from a number you can’t reply to and ask you to visit your local branch, not the Central Bank. I mean, how much money is in the account. Wanted to call the number and burn someone’s time but nahhhh….
I texted back to say I’m the CBN governor of Nigeria.
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Nice one 😉😂😂
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