• What’s happening in the budget Bernie?
• You mean how much of a rise are you getting in your pension ma?
• Well yeah
• A fiver ma
• Five euro. They broke their heart didn’t they?
• Miserable shites. Sure what good is a fiver to anyone?
•  Big splash out for Christmas what Bernie?
• I don’t think so ma. You won’t be getting it until March
• March? Next March? Sure I could be dead by then
• You and the rest of them. D’ye know they say one elderly person dies of the cold every seven minutes in the U.K. in January ma
• Just as well I don’t live in the U.K. then Bernadette isn’t it.
• They do seem to get colder winters than us alright ma
• That extra fiver could have gone on me gas bill, or a few bales of briquettes
• I can’t believe they expect people to wait until March, but sure it’ll still be cold in March
• Sure I mightn’t be here next week Bernadette, never mind next March
• You say that every year ma
• Well it’s true. I’m not getting any younger you know
• None of us are ma…Here look.  Didn’t the feckers only give themselves a rise of five grand yesterday
• Are ye serious?  How sneaky is that, doing it before the budget.They certainly look after themselves don’t they?
• …and you may be sure they won’t have to wait until next year
• As me own poor mother used to say lord rest her ‘Live horse and you’ll eat grass’
• Or even  sheep ma
• What d’ye mean sheep?
• They’re giving 25million euro to animal welfare for sheep
• They kept that one quiet didn’t they?
• The politicians or the sheep?
• The politicians ye big eejit. But what the hell are the sheep going to do with 25million euro, can you tell me?
• I dunno, spend it on new woolly coats for the winter maybe?
• ..and what about the cows ? How much are they getting?
• Cows don’t wear woolly coats ma
• Very funny Bernadette, but I’d say the sheep are only delighted
• Wouldn’t ewe be ma…wouldn’t ewe?
• I see what ewe did there Bernadette
• Ah ma you’re gas…so tell us…any plans for your fiver?
• I’m thinking of buying meself a little lamb, what d’ye think
• Get two ma, they’re small
• That’s not a baaaaaad idea Bernadette.

And yiz think I’m bad!!