Silence of the lambs (Budget 2017)

sheep

  • What’s happening in the budget Bernie?
  • You mean how much of a rise are you getting in your pension ma?
  • Well yeah
  • A fiver ma
  • Five euro. They broke their heart didn’t they?
  • Miserable shites. Sure what good is a fiver to anyone?
  •  Big splash out for Christmas what Bernie?
  • I don’t think so ma. You won’t be getting it until March
  • March? Next March? Sure I could be dead by then
  • You and the rest of them. D’ye know they say one elderly person dies of the cold every seven minutes in the U.K. in January ma
  • Just as well I don’t live in the U.K. then Bernadette isn’t it.
  • They do seem to get colder winters than us alright ma
  • That extra fiver could have gone on me gas bill, or a few bales of briquettes
  • I can’t believe they expect people to wait until March, but sure it’ll still be cold in March
  • Sure I mightn’t be here next week Bernadette, never mind next March
  • You say that every year ma
  • Well it’s true. I’m not getting any younger you know
  • None of us are ma…Here look.  Didn’t the feckers only give themselves a rise of five grand yesterday
  • Are ye serious?  How sneaky is that, doing it before the budget.They certainly look after themselves don’t they?
  • …and you may be sure they won’t have to wait until next year
  • As me own poor mother used to say lord rest her ‘Live horse and you’ll eat grass’
  • Or even  sheep ma
  • What d’ye mean sheep?
  • They’re giving 25million euro to animal welfare for sheep
  • They kept that one quiet didn’t they?
  • The politicians or the sheep?
  • The politicians ye big eejit. But what the hell are the sheep going to do with 25million euro, can you tell me?
  • I dunno, spend it on new woolly coats for the winter maybe?
  • ..and what about the cows ? How much are they getting?
  • Cows don’t wear woolly coats ma
  • Very funny Bernadette, but I’d say the sheep are only delighted
  • Wouldn’t ewe be ma…wouldn’t ewe?
  • I see what ewe did there Bernadette
  • Ah ma you’re gas…so tell us…any plans for your fiver?
  • I’m thinking of buying meself a little lamb, what d’ye think
  • Get two ma, they’re small
  • That’s not a baaaaaad idea Bernadette.

 

And yiz think I’m bad!!

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