- You know the spa weekend Ber?
- What about it?
- Something’s come up
- What do you mean Jules?
- I can’t go
- Ah feck off. I was startin’ to look forward to it
- You can still go
- What? With Ger? No way
- Why not? It’s all paid for
- I don’t give a shite Julie
- I only agreed to go because you begged me and now you’re not going
- I can’t help it Ber
- Well neither can I. You can tell Ger it’s off
- But I promised Anto
- Well unpromise him then
- I’d feel bad. He paid for the whole weekend
- More fool him then
- Ah go on Bernie. You’ll have a great time
- What? With Soya bean Geraldine
- She’s not that bad?
- She’ll have me eating gogi berries and hummous and chanting for the bleedin’ weekend
- You like hummous
- Yeah with a box of pringles and a bottle of wine of a Friday night, not with bleedin’ chick peas and Greek yoghurt for me breakfast, dinner and tea
- Sounds nice
- Fuck off Julie. You’re gettin’ on me nerves now
- O.k o.k. I’ll tell her you’re not goin’ then
- Why can’t you go inannyway?
- Me ma’s not well. I said I’d go and stay with her for that weekend because Pauline has to go to a wedding in Cork
- Ah stop, I feel bad now.
- Ah she’ll be grand. Ye know me ma. Tough as shit
- Talk about making me feel guilty…I’ll go with Ger then.
- Thanks Ber
- Tell your ma I was askin’ for her
- I will Ber
- I’ll light a candle for her
- She said she’d light one for you; said you’ll need it spending the weekend with Geraldine
- Fuck off Julie
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 
Fast one!
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Ah, the plot thickens! You really do get into the most interesting situations.
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It gets worse Mimi!!
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