Tofu or not tofu?

T (1)

  • Hello Bernadette
  • Geraldine, how’s tings? Did Julie ring you about the weekend?
  • She did, and I have some good news and some bad news
  • Tell me
  • The bad news is, Patchouli is not well at all
  • …and the good news is, you can’t come either
  • On the contrary Bernadette. Patchouli is coming with us. Isn’t that great?
  • Bleedin’ wonderful Ger
  • I knew you’d be pleased
  • What’s up with her anyway?
  • She’s been up vomiting all night and rolling around in pain. We thought it was appendicitis so we brought her to A&E but it turns out she has severe food poisoning
  • Jasus, did she eat a dodgy  falafel or what?
  • No, it was a burger at a friends barbecue
  •  I thought she was vegan?
  • She thought it was a tofu burger
  • Ah that’s gas… I mean, that’s terrible Ger
  • She’s utterly traumatised Bernadette, as you can imagine
  • Aww ye Ger, I can imagine it aright
  • The break will do her good, it’s like it was meant to be that Julie couldn’t come isn’t it?
  • Ah sure weren’t you blessed dat Julies ma got sick Geraldine? Great timing alright.
  • Anyway, I’ve  heard that there’s a wonderful vegan guru at the health farm. I’ve booked a consultation with him for her.
  • So it’s me, you and Patchouli
  • Yes, I’m so excited, are you?
  • Over de bleedin’ moon Ger

How de fuck am I gonna get out of  dis one?



12 thoughts on “Tofu or not tofu?

  1. At a convention last year, we suddenly had a third roommate I didn’t know about. OMG. Never again! I try to be easy-going about these things, because we’re all splitting the costs, but that time we very nearly needed bail money to get me out of jail!


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