You are my sunshine

sunshine

The sun’s been out for two feckin’ days and people are moaning about the heat already. Guess who’s the worst culprit? Yeah, you’re right. Jimmy came home from work early yesterday, sweating buckets.

  • Jaysis Ber, I’m bleedin’ meltin’
  • Must be something to do with the weather Jimmy
  • The heat is unreal tho’ isn’t it
  • Ah give over will ye , it’ll probably be pissing rain tomorrow
  • A drop of rain would be no harm
  • What? Will you give over. It’s been raining for weeks
  • You’d miss it but
  • Miss the rain? Ehhh, no
  • I’m burned to a rasher working out in that heat.
  • You’d be moaning if you had to work indoors
  • At least there would be air conditioning
  • You’re never happy are ye?
  • I’m just hot Bernie. It’s ok for you, lying out on your sun lounger under your umberella all day
  • Excuse me, I’m not lying out all day. I was working until one o’clock…indoors, with NO air conditioning, then I had to come home and do me housework. I’m only after coming out this minute
  • Ah yeah, I believe ye
  • Fuck off Jimmy. Believe what ye like, now move, you’re blocking me rays
  • Ah but, messing aside, it is nice to have a bit of sun all the same. I just wish it wasn’t so hot
  • It’s not that hot
  • You could fry an egg on the bonnet of me van it’s so hot Bernie
  • That’s handy. I wont have to put the cooker on to make you a rasher and egg sambo so
  • Ah that sounds lovely Ber, I’m bleedin’ starvin’
  • Would you like a sandwich love?
  • I’d love one
  • Grand, make me one too while you’re at it
  • Very funny
  • I wasn’t trying to be funny. I’d love a sandwich
  • Ah, you make them nicer Bernie
  • You just hate to see me sitting down don’t ye
  • I’m knackered too, I had to knock off early  because of the sunshine and the high pollen count. I’m in bits here Bernie
  • You’d have to knock off early if it was raining Jimmy
  • The perils of being a builder Bernie
  • My heart bleeds for you
  • I’d never get any sympathy in this house
  • You knocked off work early and you’re looking for sympathy? Get a grip will ye
  • It’s true what the say ‘leave your feelings at the door before you enter this house’
  • Who said that?
  • I’m saying nothing
  • Well shurrup then annoying me, will ye
  • Well a bit of concern for my hay fever wouldn’t go amiss
  • Oh for Gods sake, sit down ’til I go get your sambo and  antihistamines
  • Cheers love, oh and a beer from the fridge would be nice
  • Don’t push it Jimmy, don’t fuckin’ push it

Give me patience!

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Viva Espana

V

Getting ready to go on Holiday is bad enough without Jimmy annoying me.

  • Tickets, passports,money,Suncream, sunglasses, umberella…
  • Why are you bringing an umberella?
  • It might rain
  • In Santa Ponsa?
  • It rains in Spain
  • In July?
  • It might
  • You’re mad Bernie
  • I must be, I married you Jimmy
  • Have you got everything?
  • I’ve a feeling I’m forgetting something
  • Well the kitchen sink is in your suitcase so I doubt it
  • No, but I’ve got that feeling Jimmy
  • You and your feelings Bernie
  • I’ll just check me list
  • You’ve checked it three times already
  • Well now I’m checking it four times
  • The taxi will be here in a minute
  • Have you got the passports and tickets Jimmy?
  • Right here in my pocket
  • Where’s the plastic bag for liquids?
  • In your bag
  • Have we enough money?
  • Loads of money
  • Lovely Jubbly
  • There’s the taxi outside now
  • I still think we’re forgetting something
  • We’re forgetting nothing will you get out for fuck sake
  • You bring the suitcases, I’ll lock the door
  • Olé olé olé olé
  • Santa Ponsa here we come
  • Viva Espana
  • I can’t wait Jimmy. A whole week of sea sand and…
  • Steady on Bernie
  • I was going to say sangria, ye dirty fecker
  • Yeah right
  • Shurrup and get in the taxi will ye
  • Here we go, airport please Mr. taxi man
  • At last
  • Hang on…stop, stop
  • Ah jasus, what’s up now Jimmy?
  • I forgot me jacket
  • You won’t need it
  • Says the woman with the bleedin’ umbrella in her bag
  • I’ll buy you a new  jacket in the market
  • I need that one
  • Why?
  • Because the passports and tickets are in the pocket
  • For fuck sake Jimmy, you’re an awful gobshite