• Hey Bernie, what’s the latest?
• Howya Julie. Danny says Jasper has people watching the gaff.
• Stop it, Bernie. What kind of people?
• The dodgy kind I suppose. I reckon Jasper is as bent as fuck.
• Ah now, my nerves would be gone. Have you seen anyone dodgy?
• Only Buster Higgins from number nine tottering home scuttered from the pub without his crutches.
• Can’t get dodgier than Buster. The council must have paid him if he’s ditched the crutches?
• He didn’t ditch them, he was just so fluthered he forgot them.
• So, if the man from Aviva is watching his gaff, that’s Buster busted.
• Good enough for him, Julie. There’s nothing wrong with him except that he’s a waster. Bad back my arse.
• In all the years I lived there, I’ve never known him to work a day.
• Jimmy said if there was work in the bed, he’d sleep on the floor.
• I don’t know how his ma put up with him all those years, lord rest her.
• She had him ruined, it’s no wonder he never married.
• Sure who’d have him, the lazy fecker.
• He thought all his birthdays came together when he tripped on the path and got to put a claim in to the council.
• Is he still wearing the neck brace?
• Of course he is. Not that he needs it. He has a neck like a jockeys doo dah.
• I’ll tell you one thing, he’s a great actor, should be on stage in the Abbey.
• Who are you telling? I’ve seen him carry five pints from the bar and not a drop spilled, then limps home on those feckin’ crutches, all moans and groans.
• So there’s two people under surveillance on the road. It’s like CSI Miami, Bernie.
• Only, there’s no crime scenes Julie, apart from the spot where Buster tripped.
• Allegedly…
• And we don’t have Miami sunshine.
• Alright, it’s more like Columbo then. Have you seen anyone in rain macs hanging around?
• Everyone is wearing rain macs, it’s been pissing rain for weeks.
• Anyone sitting in cars on the corner eating donuts and drinking coffee from paper cups?
• Everyone in Ireland is drinking takeout coffee from paper cups since the pandemic, in and out of cars.
• True. Anyway, keep me updated on Jasper and Buster.
• Is your Netflix down again Julie?
• Yeah.
• I thought so.

She loves a good drama does our Julie…