Banana bread and designer masks.

Things that are getting on my wick during lockdown :

1 : People baking their own banana bread.

2 : People cooking fabulous meals from what’s in the bottom of their fridges, ( Thanks, Jamie Oliver)

3 : People crocheting blankets.

4 : People making their own designer masks.

5 : People running/jogging/cycling in the park.

6 : People doing yoga.

Well, let me tell you now;

  1. I despise banana bread. If I see one more photo of someone elses homemade banana bread, I swear, I’ll throw my laptop through the window.
  2. I’ve a pain in my hoop cooking. All that’s in the bottom of my fridge is a mouldy carrot, two green beans and a bowl with yogurt and green tea face mask with fur on it. ( try making a meal for four out of that, Jamie)
  3. I haven’t crocheted since I was nine, and have no intention of starting again.
  4. I refuse to make a mask from Jimmy’s jox and my knicker elastic.
  5. The last time I went running/jogging, I wet my knickers.
  6. Don’t even start me on the last time I rode a bike, it did not end well.
  7. Yoga? Just…no.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted for you all doing what you can to get through these tough times but please, do you have to post every second of your fabulous lock down life on Instagram/Facebook/Twitter.

I’ve stopped logging onto Instagram, I’ve a pain in my swiss looking at everyone’s culinary masterpieces, every fucking day. Can you not just give it a rest and have a bowl of Cheerios or a packet of hoola hoops sometimes? My family are lucky if I turn out the odd stew or coddle during the week. After that it’s ‘there’s pizza and fish fingers in the fridge, go help yourselves’.

Just because I have time to cook/sew/crochet/run/jog/do a fucking lapdance for Christy next door, doesn’t mean I want to.

The family said I’m a moody bitch today… ๐Ÿ˜ 

They’re having pizza for dinner ; or fish fingers. Do I look like I care?๐Ÿ™„

Happy Monday everyone. ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š

17 thoughts on “Banana bread and designer masks.

  1. Oh! Shit hope you’ve not been reading my #WDIIA . In my defense I have not made banana bread but banana cake…..I don’t run, or jog or cycle but do walk the dog ….
    Backs out quietly, closing the door as quietly as possible and runs …. Please don’t tell Jane Doughty about me making banana cake she thinks I am sane! ……

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bernie, you’re making all your readers smile from ear to ear and that is harder than baking banana bread or jogging–at least in my world.
    Plus, all those fab bakers eat their own goodies, whereas you share your laughter treats.
    So, thank you:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thanks so much for this. Sorry I’m only replying now. I haven’t been online in a while. Been too busy enjoying the sun and staying outdoors having social distance get togethers with family and friends. My laptop had a layer of dust on it…so you can gather I haven’t been doing housework either. The sun has deserted us today but I’m still not baking, or jogging…or cleaning. Netflix anyone??

      Liked by 1 person

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