I hate Hallowe’en. Kids these days are very cheeky. I had this one youngfella at me door  with his mates last year giving me lip…

• Trick or treat, trick or treat give us something good to eat
• What do you call good now lads?
• Mars bars, maltesers, Yorkie bars
• I have apples, oranges and bananas … take your pick
• Ah missus, we don’t accept fruit
• Why not? It’s good for you
• Fruit is for lunches.
• Well you can keep it for your lunch tomorrow.
• We’re on midterm.
• So, do you not have lunch at home then?
• Stop messing missus,  we know you have goodies.
• Do I now?
• Yeah, you do this every year, come on, we have other gaffs to call to.
• Oh well, don’t let me delay you any further… here you go.
• Jive bars?
• What’s wrong with Jive bars?
• They’re from Aldi
• So?
• My ma shops in Tescos, we don’t like stuff from Aldi or Lidls
• Well feck off home to your ma then and get some bars from her
• Have you nothing else?
• Yeah…loads, but you won’t be getting it you ungrateful little brats
• Ah missus!
• No, feck off now. Anyway, you don’t even live on this estate.
• So what?
• So feck off
• Ah give us the jive bars so.
• No I will not, now get lost I have other callers to see to.
• Well then, we have to play a trick on you.
• How come?
• It’s called Trick OR treat. We got no treats so we’ve to play a trick
• Go on then
• We’ll be back
• Who are you…Arnold Schwarzenegger?
• No, Batman
• Well feck off to your Bat cave son.

Litle fecker came back and threw an egg at me front door!