Some days you just have to try to keep your mouth shut, especially with Maisie

• Have you seen my mobile phone Bernie?
• No ma.
• I can never find the bloody thing.
• You should keep in in your pocket ma.It’s called a mobile for a reason you know. It’s so you can bring it with you wherever you go.
• Sure nobody ever rings me anyway.
• Why do you have one then?
• You never know.
• Why don’t you just get rid of it?
• Why should I?
• It’s just another unnecessary bill ma.
• Well you’re not paying for it are you?
• But you never use it.
• It’s handy for emergencies.
• Like what?
• Like when I’m out and I need to contact someone.
• When do you go out anymore these days?
• I was out last week.
• Where?
• At the hospital
• You left your phone at home.
• I knew you had yours with you.
• So why bother having one then?
• I don’t need to explain myself to you or anyone.
• I’m just saying, it’s a waste of money.
• My money, so mind your own business Bernie.
• Right I will. I’m off out to the shops.
• How long will you be?
• I don’t know.
• What if I need you.
• Ring me on your mobile.
• Go on, I wont need you. I’ll be grand.
• Grand so.
• Grand.
• See you later ma.
• I’ll keep me phone beside me.
• I thought you couldn’t find it.
• It was in me pocket.
• Grand.
• So, if you want to ring me…
• I have your number.
• …and I have yours Bernie
• I’m sure you have ma. I’ll ring you  from the shops, in case you think of anything you want.
• Thanks Bernie.
• See you later ma.
• Oh Bernie.
• What?
• Will you top up me  phone credit while you’re there.

That woman!!