When you’re young and in love you don’t realise that when you get married, you’re not only marrying him; you’re basically marrying his whole family. If I knew then what I know now, would I still have married him? Probably, but I would definitely have gone ahead with emigrating to Australia, which is what we had talked about. We’d even filled out the application forms and enquired about Visas. However, Jimmy’s ma had other ideas. My pal Julie is married to Jimmy’s brother Ray. She was there when Jimmy told his ma our plans.

• Australia? What do you want to go to Australia for? Your family is all here James.
• Yeah but with this recession, there’s feck all work ma. Bernie’s brother is working for a big construction company, he said they’re always looking for workers. He can get me a job as soon as we arrive.
• Oh, I should have known SHE’D have something to do with this.
• SHE has a name ma, and we’re getting married so yes she does have something to do with it.
• I don’t know why you’re rushing into this marriage, you only know each other five minutes.
• Because we love each other ma, and it’s six months, not five minutes.
• That one seems desperate to get a ring on your finger; are you sure she’s not pregnant?
• I proposed to Bernie ma, and no she’s not pregnant.
• I wouldn’t put it past her to try and trap you into marriage.
• Ma, what do you have against Bernie?
• Apart from her trying to take my son to the other side of the world you mean?
• I keep telling you ma, it’s a joint decision, Bernie is not trying to make me do anything.
• Well, what about that job with Anthony? I thought you were going to take that?
• I am going to take it, but it’s only temporary; I’m still applying for Australia.
• What about me and your da? We’re getting on in years now son. If you emigrate, we might never see you again.
• Ma, you’re only in your fifties, and you can fly from Australia in twenty four hours. Of course you’ll see me again.
• Well, with my bad heart, you just never know.
• Look ma, we’re not going immediately, so stop fretting, and there’s nothing wrong with your heart.

Jimmy’s  da had a massive heart attack six months later and died at the age of fifty five. Lily of the valley, the aul witch is still alive and kicking, and I sometimes wonder if she even has a heart. As for emigrating, it never happened, and even if it did, I don’t think  Australia would have been far enough away from his ma. 🙄