Me ma has us girls running around after her like blue arsed flies, but god forbid she’d disturb any of her sons. I’m getting sick of it. I took the day off last week to bring her for her hospital appointment…

• Hiya ma are you ready?
• No
• Why not? Why aren’t you dressed?
• I’m not going.
• what do you mean you’re not going?
• I’m not going. That’s what I mean.
• Why?
• I don’t fee like it.
• Well why didn’t you tell me that yesterday, before I organised the day off.
• I don’t know.
• For fuck sake.
• Don’t start giving out to me Bernie.
• Well what am I supposed to do?
• Put the kettle on.I didn’t have any breakfast yet
•  Did Bernard not give you any before he left?
• No.
• Why not?
• I didn’t want any
• So you’d nothing since last night?
• Well, I had tea and toast.  Bernard was in a hurry.
• What’s he in a hurry for? Jeremy Kyle doesn’t start until ten o’clock.
• I told you, he gave me tea and a slice of toast.
• He  must be worn out after that. You go get dressed. I’ll boil a few eggs for you and we’ll head off then.
• I told you, I’m not going.
• You’re the one who asked me to bring you to the hospital for your check up ma. You should have rang me and told me you’d changed your mind
• I thought you were taking the day off anyway
• Since when do I take a Wednesday off? I take Monday off to come look after you. I’m running out of holidays ma. I only took an extra day to bring you to the hospital because you won’t go with anyone else. Did you even cancel your appointment?
• No
• Well you’re going then
• I don’t want to go. I’m fine. It’s only a check up
• Well if you’re not going, I’ll go into work. I’ll ring Bernard to come over
• You can’t be asking him to come back, he’s only gone home.
• He could have waited until I got here.
• You’re here now. No point dragging Bernard all the way  back over.
• Why not?He’s just  sitting on his arse over there watching Tipping Point. He can do that here.
• I don’t want to put him out.
• And what about me?  I have a job. He doesn’t.
• Breda won’t like you asking him to come back.
• Well, Breda can go and fuck off. Is he afraid of her or what?
• She can be a bit domineering.
• Well, she’s not the only one.
• Don’t start any rows Bernie.
• I won’t. Come on have your breakfast and I ‘ll ring and rearrange another appointment for you.
• Are you going back to work then?
• No, sure I have the day off, I may as well stay here.
• Yeah, no point disturbing Bernard again.
• God forbid ma…god forbid.