• I brought some cakes ma. Put the kettle on there.
• Oh lovely. What did you get?
• An eclair for me and a coffee slice for you
• Aww I fancied a portfolio
• Profiterole ma
• WHAT?
• PROFITEROLE
• Yes please
• I didn’t buy any
• You just asked me if I wanted one
• I didn’t
• Make your mind up will you. Did you buy portfolios or not?
• PRO- FIT- ER -OLES
• That’s what I said. You said you didn’t buy any
• Jaysis I didn’t
• Ah go on I’ll have an eclair so.
• The eclair is mine. You always have a coffee slice ma
• I fancy a change
• Well I don’t like coffee slices
• Don’t be such a child Bernie and eat what you’re given
• I bought them ma
• We’ll cut them in half, have a bit of both
• Oh just have the bleedin’ eclair ma
• You’re in a right mood today Bernie. What’s wrong with you?
• Nothing ma
• Oooh this eclair is gorgeous Bernie, it’s like a large portfolio really isn’t it?
• It’s a fucking PROFITEROLE
• It’s an eclair Bernie
• Lord give me fucking patience
• Are you not eating your coffee slice?
• No. I told you I don’t like them
• What did you buy it for so? That was ridiculous. You should have bought yourself a portfolio
• Yeah I should have shouldn’t I
• That’s an awful waste of cake
• I’ll bring it home for Jimmy
• And sure leave it there. I’ll have it for me afternoon tea

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH 😦