• Nice cup of tea ma?
• Actually I’ll have a cappuccino Bernadette
• A cappuccino? Since when did you drink cappuccinos?
• Since now.
• …and where am I supposed to get a cappuccino I ask you? I only bought Maxwell House
• There’s a packet of them out on the counter.
• Where did you get them?
• Leonard dropped them over for me this morning.
• Leonard? Who the fuck is Leonard?
• One of the gays across the road
• I thought they were called Mark and Julian?…and stop calling them the gays ma.
• No, next door to them. Number five
• Are they all gay over that side of the road?
• No just number five and seven, although I have me doubts about Sue in number eleven. She always looked a bit butch
• Ma!
• What? she does. I’ve never seen her in a dress.
• Loads of women don’t wear dresses ma
• Leonard dresses more feminine than her. Lovely pastel shirts and paisley trousers
• How do know him ma?
• I’ve seen him going in and out of his house a few times and when I went down the club last night, there he was, doing a dance class
•  Dance class? I thought you were going to the bingo What about your gammy knee?
• The bingo is changed to Friday nights. Dance classes are on Thursdays now. I only did one or two dances. Leonard says I’m a natural
• There’ll be no stopping you when you get your knee op ma
• That’s what Leonard said
• Did he now?
• He did. He gave me a lift home too
• Are you sure he’s gay? Sounds like you fancy him. How old is he?
• He’s seventy two and he’s definitely gay and I do not fancy him.
• Seventy two? jaysis …and I suppose you asked him if he was gay as well
• I didn’t have to. It’s obvious he’s gay
• How is it obvious? Just because he wears pink shirts?
• Don’t be stupid Bernie
• How am I stupid?
• You don’t have to be gay to wear a pink shirt.
• Well how is it obvious then?
• He’s a dancer Bernie.
• So he does the tango, big deal. that doesn’t make him gay.
• Straight men don’t dance like that.
• Da did
• Ah that was different
• How is it different
• It just is. Back in the day, real men danced. You know, the waltz, the foxtrot, the American smooth, but not anymore Bernie
•  You’ll have to stop talking like that before you get yourself into trouble ma. Gay men are real men too you know.
• Ah lighten up Bernie. You know what I mean. I meant straight men could dance when I was young. Proper dancing, none of that rocker head banging stuff
• Jimmy dances…he’s not gay
• That’s not dancing. He just shakes his head and plays an imaginary guitar when he’s jarred.
• So what kind of dancing does Leonard do, apart from the tango down the over sixties club?
• Jazz ballet
• Enough said ma. I’ll get you your cappuccino…

You just can’t let that woman out of your sight!