Goodbye Venice Goodbye

Dolores idolised Joe Dolan. She was devastated when he passed away. She even went to his funeral.

It was the biggest funeral Mullingar had ever seen. All the celebs were there…Dickie Rock, Brendan Grace, Big Tom; even Daniel came with his sister. Me ma loves Margo. ‘She’s like Donegal’s answer to Patsy Cline, Bernie’ she said. ‘Whatever floats your boat ma’ I said.

I sometimes wonder if I’m adopted. Between me ma and Margo,Dolores and Joe, and me da jiving to Brendan Bowyer I just don’t know where I fit in. I’m more of a Spandau Ballet and George Michael girl meself.

Dolores and her pal Marie got a special coach to Mullingar with a load of other fans. Grown women sobbed in the streets, and after the mass, hundreds of them threw flowers at his passing hearse as they sang ‘Goodbye Venice Goodbye.’It was a sight to behold.

Not being a Joe fan, I thought it was all a bit mad but I said nothing because Dolores was crazy about him. She was in bits for months after. She sat in every night drinking wine and listening to all her Joe L.P’s. She wouldn’t even come out for a drink with the girls on children’s allowance night.  We left her to it for a while but when she stopped coming to bingo I knew we had to do something. Dolores never missed bingo. This was serious. Then Marie rang me.

  • I’m booking tickets for Joe Dolan
  • You’re a bit late Marie. He’s dead
  • I know Bernie. Sure wasn’t I at the funeral.
  • Well what are you on about so?
  • It’s a tribute act
  • Are you serious?
  • Yes; I am serious
  • She won’t go
  • She might
  • She won’t. I know she won’t
  • We need to get her out of that house Bernie
  • But Dolores says there’s no show like a Joe show Marie; and this isn’t a Joe show. It’s a someone who looks like a Joe show.
  • He sings like him too Bernie.
  • But it’s not him
  • We have to try something. Will you come with us?
  • When is it?
  • Saturday night, 8 o’clock in the club.
  • You book the tickets Marie. I’ll get her there.

So, I had to go down to Dolores gaff and tell her about the show.

  • I’m not going
  • Why not?
  • Its cheating Bernie
  • You weren’t married to him Dolores. How can it be cheating
  • It’s not Joe. It’s just some eejit pretending to be Joe
  • That’s the whole idea of tribute acts Dolores.
  • Well I’m still not going. I’d rather stay home and listen to the real thing.
  • You can’t sit at home for the rest of your life listening to records love. Joe would want you to be out enjoying yourself.
  • How do you know what Joe would want? You didn’t even like him
  • He was alright
  • He was a legend Bernie
  • If you say so Dolores
  • There will never be another Joe
  • There will never be another Dolores
  • What do you mean Bernie?
  • I miss you.
  • Aww Bernie
  • Come out with us on Saturday?
  • Alright Bernie. I’ll do it for Joe
  • Good woman
  • But you know there’s no show like a Joe show Bernie
  • We’ll see Dolores. We’ll see.


Watch this space!


 Image by Eamonn O’

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